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Take your beer bottles out discretely!

I cannot tell you how frustrating it is when you take your beer bottles out to the bottle depot.  I am sure this happens in Russia all the time.  First, you start clanging and clinging them in the boxes.  If you drink beer anything like me,  then you will soon find out that your wife will soon ask the questions..

Why is it taking you so long to get rid of those bottles.  Then she sees the pile stogged up at the entrance.  Oh my God!  You are drinking too much!

How do you counter these irrational feelings of misconception.  First,  you have to do a few changes.

1.  Buy bigger cases of beer and tell the wife they are really small cases of the same.  For instance,  a 12 is now a 24,  so I guess you just cut back a bit.  She will never know the difference...

2.  Do haul out your bottles during a time when she is at home.  Wait till the beautiful deer is gone.  This way here,  she does not see how many bottles are out of your house.

3.  And,  I know cans are a different taste than the bottles.  If you are really hard up and your wife is giving you hell,  then buy cans.  Put them in a black bag,  no one will no the wiser before taking them to the bottle depot.

4.  Tell your wife how much money you made with returning the empties.  200 hundred dollars I got today,  darling.  This is the reason why I drink so much....

5.  Blame it on the other guy..  Well darling,  he brings over his beer here,  and he sucks down way too much at a time.  I tell him it is a hard way to go on,  but he does not listen.  I only drink one compared to his 10.

6.  If all else fails,  buy your wife a copy of  The Supermarket Guy and drink somewheres in the basement or in the shed,   become a slugger...


Till then...

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