Showing posts from 2018

A Harold Wannapus Inc. vs Jon Acadou Happy New Year!!!

Harold Wannapus picked his landline phone. He loved getting wrapped up in the cord. Perhaps the most silly reason of not going totally cellular.

"Who is this? Is this the guy from, unclog a toilet? Well, it is too late. The toilet water kept overflowing so I just made a dyke to contain the heavy stuff and then chopped a trench with my hatchet in my prestine oak wood flooring to the basement. You can come after New Years to pump out the sludge later on...."

Jon Acadou sighed in a high tone "Harold, you foolish world leader want to be. It is not your toilet unplugger. It is me, Jon Acadou, the one and only fashion guru every family only wished they had every day they went out shopping at Gucci, or Jon Acadou Wild Line Store! I come to only wish you a terrible New Year. Your stock is falling and your intestines are bloating due to excessive bologna sandwich eating. It cannot fair that well for you this year"

Harold straightened him out from his thatch Fijian chair &q…

What goes through an authors mind at Christmas?

Well, right now, what is going through my mind is the tale of two roads. Like Robert Frost's poem. I took the less travelled. And that made all the difference. I think that is true.

Reflecting on my 4 books, which could very well be 5 if economic conditions permit, I have mixed emotions on that. I just recieved a 3 on 5 rating from someone somewhere in the world. I consider that very good, and am very satisfied.

I am thinking of the critics. My book covers were not good enough. I thought they were better than 90 % of the covers out there. I created them, afterall, by hand. How many authors draw out their covers on the front of their books. Maybe 1 %.  I think the obvious rarity of that would make my books very special.

Part 5 as well, has a specifically drawn out cover. Maybe the best I have ever done. I was going to just publish it out in white, not even color it out, due to the beginnings of it all. But, I realize, I should color it out one day. But at least the cover is done.

Christmas time pause

Not quite like Christmas past. This Christmas, there is no work on the book front.

Part 5 is put away in a safe place. Its bytes and bites not yet given the order to execute. Not yet given the task to go out and find its way out into the universe.

Maybe always left in the vault, never to be found for eternity. If I should pass tomorrow, then the book would probably be placed into the garbage bin. Or, one of my family may publish it if they found the time to put it out there. No. Probably won't happen.

There are unknowns in our passage of time. The past is a time to reflect on with the present, to tidy or improve, or to forget and to move on. In the world of books, some books make it. Some books do not. Some need help. Some need allot of help. Some need, no help.

Part 5 will remain locked for a long time, pending any sort of Christmas Miracle. Its creation is not warranted. It is not yet needed. Will it ever be needed. Probably not. The world can certainly get along well without i…

Part 5 - time was on its side for a super humor book!

Part 5. Did add more humor, and even linked more stories from the other 4 books to this one. It really made it 'complete anthology' Part 5 completes the series really well, and it is the glue that bonds the other four books together.

An author finds his glue, but taking some history from other books, and either starting or finishing the history or future in that way. Adding tidbits of information on how things got to that other point, in the past or in the future.

Well, I was very lucky to achieve that sort of fence mending. So I started with the fence a hundred feet down the side road. I got to five hundred feet, but in no where was the story completed for the first one hundred feet. So now the first one hundred feet is finished.

This book is very much comparable to any work I have done. It is nearly equal, but not sure if it is as good as Part 4 ( I believe Part 4 is the greatest), yet Part 1 has the most reviews. Part 2 has good ratings but fewer reviews. Part 3 has done w…

Part 5 why the rush why the speed?

An author with lots of time, can produce an even better work at the finish line. No deadlines. No money. No luck?

Well, keep writing. Keep adding on to your work. Even in the last little while, thought about two ideas to put in Part 5. Not only to increase the volume of the book, but it increases its quality. It is a good think to take your time in writing, and fine tune things.

I know with my previous books, if I had the time now to go back, I could have added a few things, here or there. But, they are in print. No money there either for major revisions.

A self published author is at the mercy of an even blurrier microscope, or one that is needed here is an electron microscope. What is required is a fit for another force, to take the storm away and clear the skies to a revelation of sorts.

But sometimes the awakening does not happen. It may never happen. Reason for a self publishing author to surrender, wave the white flag and give up.

Well, time is the hero for many. Time is also t…

Forgot about that but had the time to put in in there....

Part 5. I forgot about that happening in Part 1,  and about that happening on my Blog, yes, my Blog! Put it there in Part 5!

Well, the book is complete as I can get it. Another proof read. Fine tuning. Maybe more descriptive here and there, take out the slack, tighten up on the sails. Let her sail towards the horizon!

Oh, but still, no money in the till!  Humor still languishing, books not selling! Will wait it out. Money is not what it was way back when. Perhaps will focus on a paperback version on Part 4.

Part 4 was magnificient in my view. It was, a super book. Perhaps lack of financing for advertising, did me in. I did garner a 5 on 5 from Readers Choice independent book review. I did the best summer Ebook award from Apple Literary Awards....

Appears not good enough to sell. Hey, if I cannot sell with the latter two results, then something is definitely blowing in the wrong direction against my sails. Enough to say, Give up!

Well, I never give up. I never will say defeat. In any …

No money in the till to produce Part 5. Will wait it out.

Well, Part 5 is just about done. A few more proofreading as mentioned below. The color scheme for the book cover is doing well.

Thing is, the money has run dry. The funding is out, having needing money for Christmas, and other unforseen expenses that added up heavily this past two months.

The book will see the shelf, and will decide after January or February in the new year, whether to produce or not if things go well.

Everybody who works a normal 9 to 5 job goes through economic difficulties at one time or another. Sports can cost allot of money. A cut in overtime, can cost allot of money. Having to pay for care for another in the family, can cost allot of money. Medication, sadly enough. The list goes on, and on.

The tank is empty. The ability to produce this work, is at a standstill for now. More important things to do at the moment. Family expenditures, came about heavily this fall.

Today I watch the snow fall here in New Brunswick on a grass that is unwilling to give up its gree…

Book cover concept just needs coloring.

Book cover is just about complete. The main character swinging from a ceiling fan. The dysfunctional family together, having no fun. The house, mice running around, the house in poor shape. Inside and out.

Really, perhaps the best book cover ever. And completed without the many revisions that had occured in previous works.

The hardest time I had ever had with a book cover was Part 3. Just the dimensions, the aircraft, the loading dock extension in mid air, trying to place everything on the page. Probably could have used more time and better placement. But, it appeared to be good at the time. I still believe it did the job.

As typical, the cover does show a bit what goes on inside the book. A few shadows of the turned pages.

Well, the coloring should go fast enough. That usually takes a few hours. Had difficulty at times with the production companies in placing my cover on the book. The 8 and a half by 11 does not fit usually a downsized pocket book. Wrap around is used. Not fun. We w…

Book cover coming along great!

The book cover for Part 5 is coming along great. Need fillers here and there, but the basic concept is there. The main character is on the top center. The other main characters are there.

Photocopy, the title. Photocopy, as things get better in case I make mistakes. More photocopies as things get more and more further along. It is looking good.

Realization afterwords, that perhaps economics will come into play in producing Part 5. Will have to wait, until things clear on the horizons. A self publishing operation is by no means a money maker. Millions of self publishing people will tell you this story.

I have to wait, until things get better on the economic front here at home, before producing this book. I was actually in better financial position to produce this last year. The unexpected happens, slight of sight, perhaps, not having focus at matters at hands sometimes...

Oh well. See what will happen in November. Relatives tell me of GoFundMe site. Maybe that is an alternative. Not s…

First round of spell check complete!

First round of spell check complete. Took an hour or two to get this done. Need to do it two extra times. Then read, read it again, add, subtract text perhaps in some places where the drama appears to be lacking. Names, trying to get the spelling right.

The very end, I feel I need to add a small amount of humor there. A small paragraph, but of course it can do without. The text can be left the way it is, but it should be humorous throughout. I will send this one in to some humor competitions as well. The other volumes maybe entered as well, as some competitions do accept work from multiple years.

The book cover. Draw out another. A few sketches. Has to be odd, funny, crazy. Has to be better than the last. We will see. I usually always put a scene taken from the book. Sort of. But, the characters just simply placed on the front of the book will say it all. A human relationship that appears to be out of whack, or just failing.

Continue on? I was really fatigued after going through the …

The Supermarket Guy 5 is complete!

The Supermarket Guy 5 is complete. The story holds well. It even joins in with past events in the other books within the series. I am totally satisfied with the story line, and the ending.

It does need polishing. More proofreads, more grammer checks, more editing. Maybe 3 proofreads.

The book could have been done a few months ago. But I felt that the story had to come to a certain area in order for it to end. I am truly satisfied with the content, and the flow, the originality and the characters. Sometimes it is hard to stick by the main characters flaws, as he is either entirely lofty, clumsy, or just does it his way most of the time.

This could possibly be the last installment of the series. It is the same length as Part 2. Did not realize it would be as big as it is. It will only grow a bit with the proofreading, as usually it does by a few pages. Adding adjectives, depth, more descriptive details perhaps where some are missing.

At any rate, the finish line has been obtained. Now just …

The Supermarket Guy 5 could be finished, today!

Part 5 is finished in my view. I reached a finish line, a page limit that I used in the back of my mind to close it all up and publish it. I could stretch it out another 20 pages. I may do so, or leave it as is and possibly create a Part 6 to extend the childhood antics of the hero a little farther into history.

Of course, the text has to be proofread, a few times over. Things have to be added, things may have to be taken away. But all in all, the book could be published this fall or near Christmas time. There is not really any rush in the matter, as I took a year late to get to this point.

The reason for being so late, was a lack of inspiration. Procrastination. Family affairs, duties, and something called my real work and home work here at the home.

Besides that, there is nothing, absolutely nothing new on my book front. It makes it that much harder to publish this fall. I was going to do a paperback version of Part 5, but never had the energy to get it jump started. Hard to pour m…

When others critique your work

When talking to people, about your work, the one thing that will stand out with everybody out there is "You are not selling. Obviously you are doing something wrong. Change it. You got to change it. Make it more edgy. Racy, Something. Change it" 

I said "You should become my literary agent. Or literal agent. I said, if I had you, I would probably do pretty good" 

Truth being- we cannot dissect, we cannot extrapolate, peoples wants, peoples trending fashions from one year to the other.

No doubt, there is a time to rest. After Part 5, I will rest. For those who love my works, that will be a tragic time. For those who hate my works, they will revel and parade in the streets and bang on that shitty tamborine.... lol

But, Frank Sinatra said it best- "I did it my way". So, with few regrets just like in the song, I will produce part 5 but probably in the fall. Depends on health, family, and other things as I thought I would have this thing produced way back whe…

The Supermarket Guy 5 passes a major milestone!

The Supermarket Guy 5 passes a major milestone. Over 200 pages in 8.5 by 5.5 inch format. This means that I am nearly done- But do not want to fluff it up too much. Need a good, steady hand at the ending. It requires much of the same brand of humor in the first 4 novels. No premise to speed it up too much!

Yes, I could publish it today. After proofreading it, spellcheck, editing, and what not. But, a masterpiece is a masterpiece. It will probably be ready in the fall of 2018, unless time comes more rather quickly than at a costly rate.

Last fall, it could have been done. Near Christmas 2017. I had no or little ambition to complete it. I felt as if things were falling apart for me on the book front. Great ratings, winner of a book contest, for Part 4, but still, no apparent interest from the masses for to read my stories.

Maybe this will be the same. Still throwing mass out there, hoping that something will take holt. After this book, we will see. I need to take a long break after thi…

The Supermarket Guy 5 Finish Line In Soon Sight!

The Supermarket Guy 5- finish line soon in sight!  A book that is just as humorous, whitty, crazy, lambast as the first... or second... Whatever...

Soon, to be completed... Really going very well... Latest news my publisher wants me to pay for past books to keep on file... Not sure, but probably will keep them on file for another year... After this year, I might just cancel it all... keep Part 5 and 4 available for the masses....

Part 1, 2, 3 will be non existant perhaps, perhaps after this year... Too much cost to keeping them online and alive...

So keep your copies. They maybe worth something in the future... The distant future...

But Part 5 will be created... It is going very, very good so far... Thankful...

Till next time....

The Supermarket Guy V latest news

The Supermarket Guy V is between 1/3 done and 1/4 done. It should have been finished last fall, but the lack of interest has been dawning on me that perhaps it is a waste of time. But always in an authors heart, it is never truly so. No matter if sales are dismal, if reviews are albeit "very good" for my series, but not coming in at a steady rate, it should be completed.

The size of this book will be very similar to Part 1, plus or minus a few pages, unless things change in my mindset. I found very little reason to create a heavy Part 1, as it was just the beginning of the heroes claim to fame. An interesting start, and a revealing one also to help with the plot of Part 6. If Part 6 can ever be put to life through any miracles of sales or reviews to come. I think every author hopes to continue his series, but even Sienfeld, The Dukes of Hazzard, and Three's Company all had their time in the sun and then just had to fade away over time. Classics they were, and always wil…

The Supermarket Guy 5 progress report

Anybody who believes that last post I put down there must be more funny than I am...
Part 5 is over halfway done, or nearly 2/3 rds done.

It deals more with the tough life of the superstar, parents who were not there for him, who had to rely on close family and friends, and his brawn, to get by in life...

This story is another sure fire hit. But, due to financial trouble in the stock markets, perhaps this book may just be another E book. It will be entered in other contests for humor, as the last book won a summer E Book contest, but this one, we will see how it goes...

You can never predict the outcome of a book like this. It is simple, going back to the beautiful, less stressful 70's. The humor is more of an insultive nature, which worries me perhaps, somewhat. Part 1 was somewhat of the same nature.

The cover is already halfway done. I got a drawing on my dresser, but may modify to create a more powerful presence on the cover.

The length of the book should be nearly the same a…

Part 5 of "The Supermarket Guy" a lost hope...

I finallly decided to stop writing and focus on more fortuitous lifestyle for yours truly.

I was over halfway done of Part 5, but I woke up from a dream late at night and realized that I was missing out on life. That I was wasting it on writing my books, books that do not bring any personal satisfaction or relaxation into my life. Earth energy that was grounded by my big toes and fairly long toenails, digging into mother earth...

Yes. I woke up from my dream, and the answer was in a hamsters eyes. I seen a few hamsters duelling at a pet shop here, and it matched my dream exactly. I bought them both, gave them lots of wood chips, and a fruit bowl. I set them up a little wheel, hooked up to a small generator, from where they can produce a bit of power to light up a light.

I was thinking of doing a clothing line for the Hamsters. Maybe even an online order of dry, sealed, food stuffs for the Hamster lifestyle that we all fall short of.

Yes, we can all forget about my writings. I am some…

Rickanotious... The fastest skater in the land....

Rickanotious, was the fastest figure skater in the land. Whoa... After sharpening his blades, he had to run some very gritty sand paper over them to slow him down on the ice...

His tight spandex pants and shirt, was enough to make the women flock in and watch him do super twirls, and fly high into the air so high, that sometimes he would hit the metal beams strewn across the roof trusses built tough enough that a few meters of snow could not make them fall.... Yes, he would bend the beams with his metal head...

Then came a challenge to his figure skating empire... Optumplumpious... Big, round, jolly of a man... When he burped, it created so much thrust that he flew ten feet off of the ice and did 10 twirls in the air and landed so heavily on the ice, that it cracked the ice so badly, that after his performance the Zamboni had to go over the ice ten times in order to repair it....

Would he be great enough to defeat Rickanotious...  He was sweating profusely, watching Optumplumpious ea…

Valentines Day A Very Special Day!

Valentines Day! For Harold Wannapus, that means wrapping a bologna sandwich up, all dressed with dijon French mustard all drizzled and messy over it! To place in a beautiful brown paper bag, to give to his wife as a gift!

Yes, who needs roses? Chocolates! Weight gainers! No, just need to save money and not go out to that expensive restaurant! Massages. Blah! Cards? Buy her what she really wants, a box of Dixie Lee chicken!

What more can a couple ask for for Valentines day. I mean, really!

Part 4 is free and available but in limited quantities!

Part 4 is free for now, and available in limited quanties ( 50 downloads per day),  500 per month...

At least I think I set it up that way... Here is the link to Bookfunnel.

I tried Goodreads Giveaway, but you had to be a member of KDP publishing on Amazon. Frustrating, but there is always another way to skin a cat.

I waited a long time for Goodreads to offer ebook giveaways to everybody, but that only included KDP authors from Amazon.

So, I had to take it to this route. And to give my book to many, to get the word out. Something an author has a hard time to do, to sink the flagship battleship!!! 

Oh well, hope there are some positives out of this... I hope... Download it for free, if you can get it in time before the downloads run out!

Have a supermarket kind of day...

The Supermarket Guy 5 progress 2018 report

Part 5 is truddging along, terribly slowly, to the finish line. Thought this would be all done this fall. Lack of time again, and a lack of desire to continue to finish it, kept me from putting it into production.

I wrote three pages the other night, and things went together very well. I may write tonight, if the time permits.

This has been the worst year ever for the series, and it should have been the best. With the release of Part 4 in the fall of 2017, absolutely nothing happened. Producting an ebook in each and nearly every format did nothing for reviews, or sales. But I really have limited choice, with hardly no sales, and the high production costs associated with paperback and ebook, the ebook route is the only option for me at this point.

Probably also the reason for the lack of energy put into finishing part 5. But, I do feel like finishing this one.... I will most certainly try..

Till next time..