Showing posts from August, 2016

93 000 words and not done yet.

The Supermarket Guy 4, 93 000 words and continuing to grow.

93000 words, and not done yet. The Supermarket Guy 4, maybe completed this fall. If things go well. I ran into some difficulties this year, with time not being on my side at all. Finally getting it together though, as I decided to do a little bit every day, even if time only permits me a half hour a day. 

This is by far the longest novel, if I am lucky enough to see it produced, I have ever done. A humor novel, nonetheless. I thought for a long time, why waste my time doing a fruitless humor novel? No one is interested in humor any more. Well, for me personally this will end the series for a long, long time. Unless it goes well, then things could catch lightning elsewhere.

As you read the following comedy excerpts below, please understand that they are off the cuff, not edited very well, not intended to really be as forcefully humorous as in my books. But sometimes they do hit that certain string of oddity or comedy that we all…

Billionaire Harold Wannapus and his Race to the White House....

Speaking at a rally in Los Angeles, California, Harold Wannapus took the stage where Steve McQueen flew his mustang over the famous car chase route and began speaking about the most important issues to the citizens there.

"Ladies and Gentleman, here I stand before you where the great Steve McQueen drove his mustang through the streets at an incredible speed. So fast, you could say not only did he defy the local bicycle police squad, but he also defied gravity. And that is what I intend to do here today. Defy gravity"

Everyone started to applaud "Yes, I am going to blast this ole fuel eating hill into the anals of darkened history! Dynamite, this entire street section, and then build caves just below all of these buildings, to create a flurry of investment, coffee shops, sweat wear, and many specialty toothpick stores will pop up. You just wait and see"

The crowd were now spellbound "Not only that, it will stop the police from continually harrassing people tha…

Billionaire Harold Wannapus continues his Presidential campaign for glory!

Taking out two hand puppets of a chicken and a fox, he began to dish out the goods on the economy and taxation. At a town hall somewhere in Florida, he took the podium with his two friends.

"Hi great citizens of the sunshine state. I would like to introduce you the average middle class tax paying laying hen, Bankrupto. And, the tax eating fox, Govern-o-gobbler.

"Now, Bankrupto was having a hard time laying eggs. You see, Govern-o-gobbler raised property taxes, income taxes so high, that the poor little hen could not afford any feed to make any eggs! She then scampered to find bugs hiding under small pepples, and gave up her wireless wi fi automatic water filling machine to make things easier for her family.  Then, came Harold Wannapus to the rescue! First think Bankrupto asked, was how can you make me rich again. Govern-o-gobbler is taking everything away from us! Please save us, Wannapus sir!"

He began to motion his hands back and forth with the puppets, in a nearly f…

Billionaire Harold Wannapus enters presidential race for the White House

Harold Wannapus, the Billionaire macho boy got up to the stage in a small farming town in Ohio, and began to talk how he was going to make America better.

"Foreign debt. I hear allot about our country being in debt. How are we going to solve it? I will pour billions of our treasure dollars into a coal to gold making machine. I have faith in our medieval chemical technology? Try to get Merlins DNA from the grave and clone him, Why not? Thereby elimating carbon pricing, as carbon will be now used for to make gold bullion to pay off our enormous debt! Let the good times roar, I suggest everyone just get out there and spend some more! Watch out Trump, eat your heart out!"

"Social Security? Run out of funds? Hillary got it all wrong! I say we expand the program to bring in more contributors, and thus grow the pot. Even bring in a few smart horses from those high paying derbies, you know the ones that make money winning, and let them pay the contributions! Animals
can pay to…

The self proclaimed greatest baseball hitter of all time

My name is Harold Wannapus,
I hit the ball real hard,
cause I ate a tub of lard,
just yesterday in the Yankees yard,

I know I can fly like a Jay,
my shin pads are made of hay,
should the pitcher hit me today,
due to one of my teammates being couth,
thinking he is an undisciplined youth,

So I swing my bat,
the pitcher hits me in the hat,
I fall to the ground,
I make lots of sounds,

The blind umpire says I walk,
I said shut up I will talk,
I want a chance to bat again,
but I can only grin,

as I swing for that pitchers gut,
he keels over and asks for a rub...

Free loader Billionaire Harold Wannapus tries to climb Mount Everest on the cheap!

"The time. The time. We need to beat the time! I know we can climb Mount Everest in a 5 hrs, half the time of the so called experts!  If we use Google maps, take an extra battery and a few hot bricks, I am sure we can make it!" Harold triumphantly yelled at his cohorts.

Pete smiled "Yes, but we must use light weight oxygen masks made from tough horse hide! Food, we should just take with us sucralose, or corn syrup! It is high in energy and easy to carry! A box of pancake batter to boot!"

Steve who had the most common sense of all of the three adventurers, nodded "Yes, oxygen tanks. But costly, I am sure our rich friend Harold here, does not mind spending that cold hard cash. Pancakes, we will have to take up a bunsun burner. I was thinking of using an incinerator to burn our waste and create heat, to cook our food. But that is expensive too!"

Harold cringed at the idea of spending any money on the journey "I have heard that the without oxygen journe…