Rickanotious... The fastest skater in the land....

Rickanotious, was the fastest figure skater in the land. Whoa... After sharpening his blades, he had to run some very gritty sand paper over them to slow him down on the ice...

His tight spandex pants and shirt, was enough to make the women flock in and watch him do super twirls, and fly high into the air so high, that sometimes he would hit the metal beams strewn across the roof trusses built tough enough that a few meters of snow could not make them fall.... Yes, he would bend the beams with his metal head...

Then came a challenge to his figure skating empire... Optumplumpious... Big, round, jolly of a man... When he burped, it created so much thrust that he flew ten feet off of the ice and did 10 twirls in the air and landed so heavily on the ice, that it cracked the ice so badly, that after his performance the Zamboni had to go over the ice ten times in order to repair it....

Would he be great enough to defeat Rickanotious...  He was sweating profusely, watching Optumplumpious eat five boxes of onion rings and ten colas... Would he wear his girdle, and would he again need several men to tie him up tight again so he could fit into his man tights...

We will only know next time... After a few days when he finishes his lunches...

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