One of these three things happened to me just a little while ago. When this happens, as many of you all know, allot of things goes through your head.
First, you ask yourself, what am I doing wrong in my life? My first reaction was to blame myself first. Then came, the outside factors. Was it pollution, was it our habitual daily life routines that produced this problem. For instance, many think that cancer, maybe is caused by much of our daily habits. The third, I think, was the spiritual aspect of it. Being a spiritual person, it was tough to take, losing at such to a great extent. No one believes they will lose, at such a great cost. There maybe other factors in where you can lie or try to lie a blame as well, that I have not touched base with here.
The first thing, to cover is was it myself to blame? In this case, after much analysis, my action was only to do a good thing. This feeling left after a day or so. The second feeling, was the outside effects, exterior motives, and this left after two or three days. The third feeling, the spiritual one, was a great deal tougher and a little more hard to grab into.
As, maybe some of us think we have a guardian angel protecting over us. My mother always referred to a Patron Saint for help, when things went wrong. Myself, being spiritual, always felt there was a power out there that helped the world move along somewhat. When the brakes come on, something would help the planet move along and cope with the horrendous tragedies that we face everyday.
For awhile, I wanted to stop being spiritual. I felt that there was no help, from this spirituality that I believed in so long. Then you ask the question, I must be a really bad person. But, then in reflection, you realize you did not rob a bank. You did not do any criminal activity. And I think we know we are all not perfect. I do not think there is much difference, at all, between me and my neighbor up the street.
Then the days pass. You think again, about the spiritual thing. You then realize, good things happen to good and bad people. Bad things happen to good and bad people. We see this in the news, everyday. These bad things that happen, they are a mystery to us. They should not happen, but they do. We are not alone. And if it were not for the good I found in some people during this time, then it would have truly fallen apart. But I did find allot of good in the world during these few days, despite the tragedy.
Sometimes these things make us stronger. I hope it does make me stronger. Maybe they make some people more appreciative of life itself. Could it possibly be a test, like in the story of Job? As, I do believe everything is answered in due time. Sometimes things, mysteries, that are revealed in good time. I know someday I will have the answer... But for now, we continue on for to try to make a better day in our own little ways. We can never lose the magic in your hearts, no matter what happens... Till then...