The Sheriff wants an explanation, Mattpluck!
And Minonala was cooking bacon covered with shaking bake in the oven, eggs gently being hard boiled in canola oil, with toast being heated by her hair dryer.
The Rooster was crowing, then came a horn tooting, as Mattpluck screamed "Who in the blazes is tooting that horn. Get me my shotgun, Thundernose! I keep it in my Sunday church clothes in case a bad game of bingo goes sour!" Thundernose was sleeping in the room just next to him, but all the doors were open as to create a feeling of openness. He got up from under his bed sheets from his room way up above the two story farm house, and ran downstairs to see Minonala setting the table, His eyes were still half shut, and wobbled to the table with great difficulty. The pet poodle peed in one of the fine English china tea saucers. Someone was yelling from outside, as Thundernose brought down the shotgun and dropped it on the kitchen floor.
He wiped his eyes, and took a drink from the tea saucer that the poodle had peed in. "This tea is delicious, Minonala! Now, who is that crazy man howling at this hour of the morning. Does he not know on the sign out there at the road, that I sleep until 2 pm in the morning!"
Minonala looked through the kitchen window "My oh my, it is a man in a uniform! I love big, burly men in uniforms. But these days, you just never know, it could be one of those lost Halloween rave party people! I used to get tricked by them all of the time"
Thundernose opened the door a slight amount, and cleared up the whole mystery behind the man in the uniform "It appears he is a county Sheriff, and he has his hand on his weapon in his holster. It does appear he stopped right in front of your ditch that you dug, Mattpluck! He appears really angry!"
Mattpluck yelled "You mean your, your, hole that you dug, Thundernose! I am not going to jail, I got too much on the line here! Quickly, thundernose, put away that gun. I do not got the paperwork for it!"
Thundernose ran to the shotgun, but pushed his teeth down on the trigger by accident. The gun discharged, and fired and hit his astrological calender and blew it to bits.
Mattpluck sighed "That calender was the only way I knew how to tell the time! Blast you thundernose!"
The Sheriff ducked behind a well, and began to fire at the house... Things were starting to heat up, already...