Skip to main content

The guy who had two brains

"While I was on Mars, I realized that there was no outside restroom or play areas out and about the red planet. No dumpsters to collect unwanted trash. No ash trays to squash my super cigar made out of willow bark and recycled tires. This made me believe that I was truly sent up this way for a reason. Not only for my superior looks and brain power, but to make Mars a better place!"

All of the men and women from Genius Ville applauded in hysteria. He then raised his right hand and fluttered it in order to calm down the crowd that was so highly admiring him.

"Well, I took out a few of my luxurious cow bovine gelatin filled cushion relaxation chairs, my carbon fiber umbrella that should last a few thousand years, and then placed my smart TV across two electronic saw horses for a table for visitors to sit down and enjoy the view!"

Someone yelled out of the crowd "Can I be the next visitor to Mars, Braincell?"

Braincell winked at the person in the crowd "If you can answer the skill testing question of how many protons can fire from my proton gun, then you can very well probably come with me on my next voyage as an honoury ship swabbie! But, you all did not ask what did I do in order to answer the call of nature on the beautiful planet!"

Everyone sighed and shrugged their shoulders "You are too genius for us, oh wise one. Please tell us!"

Braincell continued "Well, nature was calling. And I sure held it in, every time I went on a long voyage from my brain ship, for up to 24 hrs a day when on the other side of the planet. Well, I had to make a restroom halfway to my brain ship. My bladder was like a hydrogen bomb, about to go off. So, I ran back to my brain ship and ripped off one of my 3ooo gallon fuel tanks from my ship. I then ripped into the surface of Mars with my solar jackhammer, and left an open hole big enough to do both things. My weight was not half, but one quarter after exhausting my bladder contents into that big tank! But do not frett, there is still enough room for all of yeahs to hold it in until you get to Mars to have a whizz in my Mars park that I have so unselfishly created for all of you!"

The people of Genius started to clang on their musical triangles again, jubilant at the chance to go to Mars and pee in this great mans park!

(The Supermarket Guy 4 needs your help now! Get out the news to your local politician now, before it is too late!)


Popular posts from this blog

My Dog has ate a Ferrero Rocher.

I had only went into a store to buy a few Ferrero Rocher packages of chocolates... Then, I went into the next store, not realizing that I left the small, 3 chocolates per package, delicious Rochers in my middle vehicle organizer. On the way back, I did not even notice.

I had got out of my vehicle, and only when I went to search for something on that side, it all came together. The package was torn, with only one individually wrapped Ferro Rocher out of its packaging. She had selected one, and even tore the golden foil paper from the once existing Rocher Chocolate.

I looked over at my Dog. This was a little too much for me to handle. I yelled "Pushkin! You ate one of my Ferrero Rocher!"  Is she the only dog in the world that probably ate a Ferrero Rocher.

Good point in standing, she actually thought the process through. She did not destroy the three chocolates in the package, all in one bite. She used her incisors, exactly as a surgeon would, to take apart the package from t…

The Self Publishing 12 days of Christmas for 95 % of us...

What does Christmas mean for the majority of us self published authors. I think of the 12 days of self publishing... Scrooge approved.

1. The usual "Gesh, I didn't know you wrote a book! Where did you find time for that" from festive long lost friends or relatives.

2. When your manly friends tell you "Oh, I did'nt have time to read your books, but my wife read it and she sure likes it... But she likes just about anything she reads"

3. Where can I get a copy of that. I don't got a credit card so I can't order it online... Do you got any free copies...

4. The wife tells you "Why are you spending so much time on that thing. You got wood to split!"

5. Your son tells you "You should have put more pictures in that novel, dad. Maybe then I would have read it"

6. Your local library tells you "Oh, what a cute little book... We will put it way up there on the top shelf where it will keep the dust from falling on the traditional books"


Part 4 is free and available but in limited quantities!

Part 4 is free for now, and available in limited quanties ( 50 downloads per day),  500 per month...

At least I think I set it up that way... Here is the link to Bookfunnel.

I tried Goodreads Giveaway, but you had to be a member of KDP publishing on Amazon. Frustrating, but there is always another way to skin a cat.

I waited a long time for Goodreads to offer ebook giveaways to everybody, but that only included KDP authors from Amazon.

So, I had to take it to this route. And to give my book to many, to get the word out. Something an author has a hard time to do, to sink the flagship battleship!!! 

Oh well, hope there are some positives out of this... I hope... Download it for free, if you can get it in time before the downloads run out!

Have a supermarket kind of day...