Three great humor books, "The Supermarket Guy 1, 2, and 3 now available online at bookstores worldwide! Warning: Content may not be suitable for some viewers ( 14 +) http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1/185-3643275-1964029?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Daren+Doucet
Famous and well liked in the area Grandma Ponkatup winced at her two grandsons "You hook up that 5.92 L Honko motor to my chairlift, you better make sure it makes the California Emission standards! If not, you guys will have to pay to hook a metal flex pipe from its muffler into the old coal mine tunnel not so far from our swish cellar!"
Anissohi laughed and comforted his grandma with a big hug "Do not worry, Grandma. When that old Honko diesel motor chugs down the stairway, it will only idle, as the alternator will charge its 24 volt battery! You can feel assured by the violent seat vibrations that will occur when that rudely tuned motor vibrates you into a coma!"
Fruknuts sighed "Stop toying with grannie, and get your story straight! We will hook up the exhaust to the toilet outlet. From there, it will go under the sewer field bed right under her cucumbers. She will have so many she will have to hire a few green environmentalors to harvest em! Then they wil…
Grandma Ponkotup whizzed and whirred down the stairs in her electric chairlift like it was a magic carpet ride... Until, her electronic chair ran over her son Fruknuts tube of permethrin lotion for his crabs...
The stuff just squirted all out, and some got caught in between the banged up enclosure over the electric motor and gave Grannie a good shock...
So much of a shock, that she fell off the chair and tumbled and hurled down the stairs shouting "That last lobster is mine, that last lobster is mine, get your grubby hands off of it.. Get your grubby hands off of it now mister!"
Reviving those good ole days, of when her husband was alive... How he would try to out stage her in the county lobster cracking festival, all for to win a free deworming at the local detox center in the downtown city main street.
Fruknuts ran over and cried "My crabs, now I'll never get rid of em..."
Anissohi, his adopted brother screamed as he put a helium balloon up his Grannies mout…
Sure, Jokatuzuora could hit a ball far into the ballpark. Right into the bleachers! He had the speed and eyes of an eagle. It was the universal series game, game 7 that is, and tied in the bottom of the 9 th... He was brought from his stellar hitting carreer in the Antartica triple A, to his incredible Universal Baseball league years!
Jokatuzuora asked only of his Major League contract is to have a fat chicken dinner and a 5 gallon pail of beer! He was at bat now. He just had to swing the bat below his 60 inch beer belly, and be a hero! Some people say his oversized belt hanging through the last loop usually hit the ball after the second strike... After he loosened his belt buckle, allot! After hitting his 80 th home run this season, each ball exiting the ballpark and smashing someones windshield and cellular phone case, as usual, he ran around the bases and flipped over a loosely held second base...Well, this was no exception!
He hit that ball out of the ballpark! The opposing crow…
Rukkabunk looked up at his mother. He was carrying his prized yorkshire terrier abord the luxury cruise ship, the prestigious oil tanker "Black Sea Patches", as its rusty old sheet metal was thin and sometimes let out a streak of oil slick on top of the mighty world oceans.
Rukkabunk looked at pitiful, weak Jorumthium and laughed "I bet Jorumthium wishes he had a pet lime mine! My dog is some smart and sharp, probably way to intelligent for that 5 year old kid over there!"
His elegant red leather dressed, high heeled mom smirked and patted him on the head "Son, you know what I told you about belittling people! Do your best to show them that you are pretty much perfect in everything, and that they are lousy in all what they do! Then throw your Yorkshire Terrier head first at the little boy, and watch him bite his head off!"
Poor Jorumthium ducked near the side rails on the top deck of the boat, as the poor little Yorkshire Terrier flew over the deck... Ru…
It has been sticking with me for a long time now. The Supermarket Guy 5. The prequel to it all. The tough, senseless, youth stages of the incredible midas touch dude with the lucky rabbits foot in his smelly undershorts- Harold Wannapus.
Why not? If I have time on my hands, where do I put it... Actually, it would seem I should have better places to put it, but I am now thinking on a light novel like done with Part 1. Not complicated, just funny and whimsical. Capricious and unpredictable.
And done in E book, at a cheaper rate! I will not go back to paperback, until I see some showing signs of sale movements. Right now, I see not much to help a Part 5 along in paperback, but in E book well, who cares? The costs are so low, I can see myself writing up another...
Well, we will see how the storyline goes. How to incorporate competing high schools so that perhaps the great Jon Acadou and Wannapus unknowingly strived against each other for first place in some other sport or chess game! Yet…
Jokioanoma looked at his lovely ex wife Romanopaovi.
She had another man on his arm. One who would not forget, Valentine's day.
Sure Jokioanoma put the bread and butter on the table. Sure he cut the grass and smoked it too... Sure.. He was a real winner like the most of us...
When he seen his woman walking through the luxury car mall with her new man, he broke down and read her a poem from the bottom of his illiterate heart...
Sure Valentines has made me into a faker,
And I forgot about buying you,
Some pretty little cake and a 50 cent jawbreaker,
remember when you sanded the rust,
off of my old beaten up chevrolet omega with an inch of dust,
on its metal clade and half putty filled exterior,
but you made it look like the Taj Mahal interior,
you bailed hay,
you cut wood,
until you cut your foot,
you made food half frozen,
but eating it ten days after was golden!
I sure miss you in bed,
they way you read,
mysteries and vampire tales,
until you started to draw my blood i…