Harold Wannapus finally cuts his grass
Her husband got up, rolled out of bed and fell on the floor as usual. His hair was all out of shape, his breath stunk the dog food that lay in the dogs bowl, and his ears were full of wax.
"Hi dear", as he began to scratch his crotch "Where is my souffle and back bacon"
Lucie got irate and fired a frying pan over his head "Harold Wannapus, do not give me that souffle and bacon talk! I cooked you some beans and weiners, and yet you still want that fancy French Cuisine. Look outside that window, what do you see? What do you see?"
Harold opened his curtains up. He looked up in the sky, as he rubbed his eyes "Why darling, I see a cloud and some beautiful blue skies! Looks like bird watching weather for you, honey!"
She hauled out a propane line from their propane stove, while using it as a blowtorch, and nearly gave him a few burns on his chin "Look halfway down the window, or even two thirds up. I see allot of grass. Tall, very tall grass, you lazy husband! Get out there and cut that grass down, before I tie your two hands down into the slots of our extra hot bread toaster! The grass is over my head when I walk outside, and I cannot see where I am going. I cannot find out where our bloody cars are located on the property to go out to get groceries! You get out there now..."
Harold held up his hand at his angry wife "Listen babe. Not that I was too lazy, on the internet, or sleeping all day as usual... I will go out and flatten that grass with your curling iron, but do not be mad if it turns your hair green after I am done. I cannot cut it, but I can twirl and flatten it out in loops. Just that our ride lawnmower is broke, it needs new blades and I could not connect your steak knives to the blade attachment"
Lucy smiled "Yes, use my curling iron. Make many curls, twirls, and loops in that beautiful grass. Then, we will be able to see as far as our 100 foot cement fence, that keeps the crazies out! You are so brilliant, my love! Now, eat your dried up beans and blackened wieners!"
Harold smiled back. They were in love once again "I will use your hair dryer to blow dry them after I am done. I will call the magazine people to come over to check out my grass hair fashions. I bet they will want me to become a hairdresser after!"
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