Billionaire Harold Wannapus enters presidential race for the White House
"Foreign debt. I hear allot about our country being in debt. How are we going to solve it? I will pour billions of our treasure dollars into a coal to gold making machine. I have faith in our medieval chemical technology? Try to get Merlins DNA from the grave and clone him, Why not? Thereby elimating carbon pricing, as carbon will be now used for to make gold bullion to pay off our enormous debt! Let the good times roar, I suggest everyone just get out there and spend some more! Watch out Trump, eat your heart out!"
"Social Security? Run out of funds? Hillary got it all wrong! I say we expand the program to bring in more contributors, and thus grow the pot. Even bring in a few smart horses from those high paying derbies, you know the ones that make money winning, and let them pay the contributions! Animals
can pay too! Hillary, the bus is rolling and you are still in the rest room doing your hair!"
"Military! By gosh, we got the greatest military on earth! I say we rent it out to any country that can pay us to use it! I will create my very own rent an army corps, so that any little insurgence can be put down in a matter of years or maybe decades. Think of the money we could make! Trump, the tank is moving and you are still stuck in the mechanic shop peeling potatoes!"
"Obama care! Hillary cares??? I care, and I want every American to follow my Wannapus hard core regime of physical fitness. We will impose a intense cardio and weight lifting program that everyone, even that granny has to go through. Everyone must lift hundreds of lbs of weights, on each body part, every minute! Who called me a dictator? Lets get fit, and if not you go to jail. Lets put the money from Obama Care to make free healthy grass shakes and cannabis biscuits! Hillary, time to get on the health bus... Too late it has left the universe for you, sweatheart!"