Skip to main content

Steel Heart: High Tech Warrior of the 1300s- The kinda reckoning but not really realizing it until the time passes

Hoodie helped put on Steel Heart's new metal armor with ceramic heat resistant coating. He gave him his 50 foot long sword, the sheath, and his miniature yet deadly shoulder mounted catapult. He was now ready for war with the Dragon!

He mounted his reliable, steady steed with his new armaments. The horse only made a few steps, in the main castle hall, but collapsed due to the heavy weight of the new equipment. The townsfolk laughed, as King Paladium whispered to his wife "He surely will not win against this Dragon. The best I can hope for, is for him to die. Then I will send my armies in to slay the village, and then the peasants of the nearby village. They are not fashionable like we are, you know"  He then raised his arms "Good luck, Steel Heart, on slaying the dragon", as he watched him gather his stuff, and began to walk slowly towards the castles drawbridge.

Steel Heart panted heavy, and sweat began to bead from his forehead "I do this only for glory, that my name maybe written among the black holes out there in the universe someday!"  He continued to drag his 50 foot sword outside of the castle walls now, as the people jeered and laughed at him. People began placing bets on how long he would last against the dragon. One of the longest placed bets was from the Queen herself, a long, forever of a time for her.. One minute... She cried as he left the castle, for he was a handsome hulk of a man... Pataguin, the Queen, ran off to cry and play sudoku all night long in her chambers...

Steel Heart just made it to the end of the village, that was only a mile away from the castle. There, the peasants met him at the gates to their village. "My Lord", Homphapite said "Is this our savoir for our village! He can hardly stand on his own, we will surely die!"  The crowd began to panic, as Steel Heart paused to catch his breath "Peasants, you low bellied, tax avoiding critters! I am your saviour! Although I do know it all, much like a savior, but not quite! Now, clear the way, I will destroy this dragon and make sure you all live only to pay taxes and slave for your King!"

All of a sudden, the whole village pelted him with rocks, sticks, and a wide variety of quail eggs.. In which he caught a few with his mouth, as he needed some high protein energy to defeat his enemy, the Dragon!  Finally he made a long and big swing with his sword, just barely swinging it around his body in a 360 degree turn, which made the peasants run towards their home in fear.

Homphadite yelled while staring in rage from his opened window, "Steel Heart, you heart is just that.. Made of molten steel from the coke ovens of the human unlawful destitution of compulsive unequivocal jurisprudence!"

Steel Heart looked bewildered at Homphadite, who throw a rotten banana at him, in which landed on his shoulder. "Please tell me that in Latin, Homphadite! Do not try to outwit me, or I will tear down your..." Just before he could say anymore, the Dragon swooped down at the other end of the village.

He blew a great fire ball straight in the direction of Steel Heart... There, he was not visible to the villagers for a short while, until the flames disappeared from his charred armor. He looked on his shoulder, where the banana was now cooked on his shoulder. He opened his face shield, and looked at the charred banana on his shoulder. "Aha, my futuristic dream was real afterall! Banana Flambee!"

As Steel Heart swallowed the delicious cooked banana desert, Homphadite yelled "Everyone, run for the hills. Run for your lives, the Dragon will surely destroy our village!"  All of the villagers ran to a hill nearby, just on the outskirts of their village.

Steel Heart flung his dull sword at the dragon with all his might.. Very slowly... As he lost much energy in dragging it over the hills, its sheath was worn out.. And its blade, was dulled by the dragging on the rocks and what not.. The sword came down heavy on the dragons head.. Making the Dragon, very irate! The beast then snapped the sword into with his mighty jaws!

The Dragon laughed "Is that all you got, Steel Heart! Prepare to meet your doom!"  Steel Heart grabbed the Dragons tail, as it flew in front of him. The fierce animal flung him into all of the peasants straw homes, destroying them all. Several wails from wailing hearts far above the hilltops were heard, as the peasants had now lost everything.. Their homes, gardens, and their word famous "tic tac toe" stone auditorium, where the best in "tic tac toe" would meet there to try to win the championship granite rock trophy!

The village was now in flames, destroyed, and it was now time for Steel Heart to try his catapult to save the day! Walking away 20 feet from the Dragon who was now turning towards him, he placed a perfectly round basketball sized stone in its spoon like cup. He wound it up, and flung it.. The stone flew away at high speed, flying over the dragons head and causing the peasants to rush out of the way on the hilltop!  The peasants yelled "Now Steel Heart has destroyed our homes, our tic tac toe arena, now he is trying to stone us to death too!"

Steel Heart was running out of options, as now the Dragon blew another fireball at his head. This one forced him back another 30 feet from the Dragon, as the Dragon too was getting tired of the days destruction he had just caused...

Steel Heart took out the magnetic collar from his metal pack sack. He tied it to a fairly strong chain, that was linked to a huge boulder in the village... Their Rock God. He flung the collar at the Dragons throat when he took a lunge at him, as the collar clamped around his neck tightly.. The Dragon began to cough, smoke..

The Dragon fell prostrate on the ground. He began to cough more black smoke... "Steel Heart, help me.. You have won... I will surely die... I need some air, this collar is on too tightly! You should have got it
tailored to fit me, as it is a beautiful collar, you know.. I love red!"

The peasants ran down the hills with rocks and sticks in hand, pelting and hammering on the near steel like skin of the mighty beast. Now he was quelled...  He was extinguished...

Homphadite yelled "Our Rock God, who is heavy and great, killed the great Dragon!"  Steel Heart took off his armored suit, and slammed Homphadite against the rock and with his mighty dagger, hit the rock where it was ready to break from years of water forming into ice in freezing temperatures of the winter.. The Rock God broke in two peices.. The villagers cried again... And Homphadite looked in a wild disgust "Steel Heart killed our Rock God, and slain the Dragon! Can he be our hero, to save us from King Paladamius?"

The Dragon then farted, as all the peasants cleared from his aching body "Please, Steel Heart.. Save me, and I will do anything you ask of me!"  The peasants chanted "Kill him, kill him!"

Steel Heart, with his mighty dagger, cut off the magnetic collar.. Finally, the Dragon inhaled a full breath in his lungs, that created a mild wind in the valley... King Paladium and all his troops were watching the battle from a hilltop far off, ready to come in and kill the villagers... They began to charge for the village, as they were only a few thousand feet away...

Steel Heart looked at a child, who grabbed him by his knee.. He could see the pain of serfdom in his eyes, and the fact that he was peeing on his boot.  "Enough, Peasants.. Enough of this slavery to this wicked, and evil king" He moved his foot away from the childs pee stream, as he thanked him for cleaning his metal boot off... It was mightily dirty...

He yelled at the peasants "See that old catapult over there in the bushes.. We need to repair it, immediately.." Homphadite was an old catapult engineer.. He went to work, and within a minute, the old catapult could work.. Steel Heart looked at the Dragon "Get on top of the catapult.. We have only one shot at this, and I need you to land right on top of the King.. Then, fly over towards me!"

The Dragon nodded, mounted on top of the catapult.. And Homphadite fired it... The dragon flew in the air, as the king and his troops were only a thousand feet away from the unarmed peasants... He landed right on top of king Paladium, who died of instantly of intestinal suffocation. The troops then looked at each other, as the Dragon flew in the back of Steel Heart.

"Troops, your king is dead... Do not come any closer, or face the wrath of Steel Heart and his Dragon! Go home to your wives, abacus, and wooden hula hoops.. You will not be bored soon, I see in the future that someone will invent Twister very soon!"

All of the warriors grumbled, as they realized they could not defeat Steel Heart, but now he had a Dragon backing him as well. Then, he could see the Queen running out from the soldiers returning to the castle, as she ran like a wild woman after a big sale at girdle world!  Steel Heart opened his arms, "Aha, of course" as he beat his chest and opened his arms wide.. He closed his eyes, as she ran right passed him and jumped into Homphradites arms... "My love, I have been waiting for an eternity for this day to pass! Finally we are truly free"

Steel Heart opened his eyes, to see Pataguin in Homphradites arm.. "Pataguin, obviously you need something called, eyeglasses, which will be made sometime in the near future... I foresee it!"

The Queen got down on the ground again, as she kissed Steel Heart, the 1300s superhero on his cheek "No, Homphradite is the true heir to the throne.. Our true king.. He was forced from the kingship by his brother, Paladium, who wrongfully took his place on the throne! Now the people can live free, have a share of the produce on their lands, and pay less tax! Thank you Steel Heart, you are a true legend!"

Steel Heart walked away with his Dragon on the hilltop, leaving the villagers frolic in the sunshine of mid day. "Well, who would have thought... I had a futuristic dream, one day, Dragon.. Where there are no more tyrannical kings, but only daft politicians who pretend to know what is going on"

The Dragon belched "Thank goodness we do not live in those days today! How would we ever make it?"


Popular posts from this blog

My Dog has ate a Ferrero Rocher.

I had only went into a store to buy a few Ferrero Rocher packages of chocolates... Then, I went into the next store, not realizing that I left the small, 3 chocolates per package, delicious Rochers in my middle vehicle organizer. On the way back, I did not even notice.

I had got out of my vehicle, and only when I went to search for something on that side, it all came together. The package was torn, with only one individually wrapped Ferro Rocher out of its packaging. She had selected one, and even tore the golden foil paper from the once existing Rocher Chocolate.

I looked over at my Dog. This was a little too much for me to handle. I yelled "Pushkin! You ate one of my Ferrero Rocher!"  Is she the only dog in the world that probably ate a Ferrero Rocher.

Good point in standing, she actually thought the process through. She did not destroy the three chocolates in the package, all in one bite. She used her incisors, exactly as a surgeon would, to take apart the package from t…

The Self Publishing 12 days of Christmas for 95 % of us...

What does Christmas mean for the majority of us self published authors. I think of the 12 days of self publishing... Scrooge approved.

1. The usual "Gesh, I didn't know you wrote a book! Where did you find time for that" from festive long lost friends or relatives.

2. When your manly friends tell you "Oh, I did'nt have time to read your books, but my wife read it and she sure likes it... But she likes just about anything she reads"

3. Where can I get a copy of that. I don't got a credit card so I can't order it online... Do you got any free copies...

4. The wife tells you "Why are you spending so much time on that thing. You got wood to split!"

5. Your son tells you "You should have put more pictures in that novel, dad. Maybe then I would have read it"

6. Your local library tells you "Oh, what a cute little book... We will put it way up there on the top shelf where it will keep the dust from falling on the traditional books"


Part 4 is free and available but in limited quantities!

Part 4 is free for now, and available in limited quanties ( 50 downloads per day),  500 per month...

At least I think I set it up that way... Here is the link to Bookfunnel.

I tried Goodreads Giveaway, but you had to be a member of KDP publishing on Amazon. Frustrating, but there is always another way to skin a cat.

I waited a long time for Goodreads to offer ebook giveaways to everybody, but that only included KDP authors from Amazon.

So, I had to take it to this route. And to give my book to many, to get the word out. Something an author has a hard time to do, to sink the flagship battleship!!! 

Oh well, hope there are some positives out of this... I hope... Download it for free, if you can get it in time before the downloads run out!

Have a supermarket kind of day...