Once upon a drunken reindeer.

Once upon a time, there was a moonshine still just a snowballs throw away from Santas workshop. Jornie the Elf, would sneak away at night to produce the magical liquid, in order to produce much cheer once Santa was away riding in his sleigh.

The facility was deep within a glacier, and it chugged out much liquor for the hard working Elves, during many times for parties in the summer months and what not. Now, there was an Elf named Prosto who had become quite addicted to the purest of pure holiday cheer.  The day before Christmas, he followed Jornies tracks to his moonshine still. White smoke plumes came out of the warm chimney, as the jolly good stuff was cooled into a high efficiency bottling line.  The room was overfilled with the holiday spirits, as jugs littered the place from corner to corner.

Jornie had his back turned towards the entrance to his ice pad, when slowly Prosto reached for a jug of moonshine that sat on a raised table that had an illuminated glow from the warm hearth open fireplace. Realizing there was just a little more time to reach for another few gallons, a clang of bottles caused a wide mouthed reaction from Prosto.

"Prosto, how did you find this place!", as Jornie reached for his double barreled laser scope shotgun.

Prosto threw one of the bottles at Jornie, which caused him immediately to drop his gun, and lift up his hands in the air to catch the precious fluid from crashing into the ground.

It gave time for Prosto to get away with 3 bottles at hand away from Jornies camp, with Jornie following in a mad rush with his sail sleigh.  The west wind blew hard into Jornies sail, and he was now travelling at great speed towards his prey. "Give me back those three bottles, Prosto! I am going to run you down and slice your little body up with my snow blades!".  He then fired off a few blasts from his shot gun, but the wind was blowing the sleigh back and forth too hard in order to get off an accurate shot at poor Prosto.

Prosto looked back and could see Jornie slipping and sliding back and forth a good twenty feet side to side, but all the way still gaining on him. He yelled back "You were stealing our beer to make the moonshine! You are just a thug, Jornie! I am only taking what is mine!".

He could only speak those words, as he could see the sleighs front blade come close to his right boot. He jumped up, to avoid being run over, only to be thrust a hundred feet in the air while holding only one bottle of moonshine in his hands. He flew into Santas little village, crashing into the beautiful Wankoda the Elfs little abode. There, he partied and gave free drinks all the night long, as Jornie could not figure out where he had landed. For Santas Village was big, and it had expanded and allowed much immigration to take place, in order to get more property taxes to fund the money to take on expensive public works projects.

The other two moonshine bottles...

Well, they flew up high, high into the air as well. And landed exactly into the drinking trough of Santa's Mighty reindeer. Rudolph could see them floating around in the trough, and decided to pull the plug on them. The magnificent liquid sparkled, as if it was magic that produced it, but it was only the light from the full moon casting its glow on the joyous band of reindeer.

It did not take long, for Rudolph, to drink the whole trough down. Vixen, Cupid and Comet started to moan, as there was no more water for them to drink on such a long voyage on which they must make tonight. Donner and Prancer noted that he also looked a little clumsy, and began to push him around a bit.

They all began to laugh and call him names.

But, then his nose started to glow... Was it the effect, from drinking all of that wonderful moonshine?

Santa came with some of the Elves to hook them all up to his sleigh... Once he seen the bad storm clouds coming, he realized he may need some sort of a guidance to get him through the snowy blizzard conditions he may face.  He then seen Rudolph, and began to smile. "Rudolph, your nose. Why, you can hardly stand up. Now quickly, tie his legs to Dancer and Prancer in the front. It will make him appear as if he is guiding my sleigh, with that powerful red nose of his!"

So now Santa, with his red cheeks, every Christmas Eve would share a shot of moonshine with old Rudolph. And Santa left Jornies moonshine operation alone, just as long as he could get a bottle every so often himself. Once Jornie heard about Rudolphs nose, he buried the hatchet between him and Prosto, and allowed his new friend to become top sampler at his new bottling plant....

It was a very, Merry Christmas, after all!!!

Note:  Drink in moderation, and buy only legal liquor... The true sober Rudolph created by Robert L. May.. 1939

Till next time...


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