The Jon Acadou in cognito hiding out Christmas call to Harold

The phone rang at the Wannapus's. The ring tone was that of Dolphin's, quackling to and fro in water. He loved dolphins, his tree was covered with dolphin, whale, and shark ornaments. It was Christmas day, and Harold picked up his 1978 dial phone with an extra long extension cord. He walked out from his huge salon into his massive kitchen area. The turkey was in the oven, and he opened the door to spread some bacon on top. Layered up a few inches thick.

He could see the unknown number showing on the phone. He sighed "Is this a phone call from Pakistan. You want my credit card number again? I am running out of numbers, and..."

Acadou yelled on the other side of the line "Harold, you fool! It is me, your nemesis. Jonathan Acadou the First. I just called to wish you a very unmerry Christmas, and I hope you choke when crunching down on that delicious turkey neck you devour every Christmas at this time!"

Harold laughed "Yes, I want to wish that you go outside and slip on the ice and break your sacrum bone, and spend grueling hours in a hospital line up waiting for the Emergency Doctor who is out on lunch break with no morphine left under the tree!"

Acadou smiled and started to wiggle his diamond studded Rolex watch "I got a Rolex watch with a few 10 carat diamonds around it. I must say it is very  heavy to carry, though"

Harold snickered "Oh yeah... Well, well I got myself a diamond studded 20 carrot headband sweatband to work out with. I will look more funtastic in the gym, than you ever could!"

Acadou frowned and spoke up "Well, I got myself a diamond coated Bugatti, it is sitting outside in marble floored garage!"

Harold growled, as he closed the oven door on his turkey. He put up the heat to maximum now "Oh yeah. Well, for Christmas I got a new emerald stone covered, gold plated ultralite to fly around the neighborhood with! It takes two gold plated diesel motors to run it!"

Acadou started now to spit into the phone. He was now frothing at the mouth. Could he ever outdo his nemesis? "I got a the same picture tube television as is in the Dallas Cowboy Stadium, in my luxury bedroom here in my hidden abode. Only better, because it has a ruby stoned remote control, with all the numbers engraved on them and functions. I am putting on the news right now, to channel 4"

Harold fumed now "Myself, I got a television installed just below the lip of my golden toilet bowl. With the flush handle as its remote in emerald green, I can turn the channels by flipping it up, or by flushing the toilet down. The television is pee proof, and if I do have a splatter poop, not to worry. It comes with a golden plated windshield wiper blade, and spray system to clean it all a new. So when I have a tinkle, I can see what you see"

He ran into his washroom to activate it. He put it on channel 4. There, a village of poor people with kids having nothing were portrayed on the television.

Harold talked on the telephone before Acadou could answer back "I bet those kids would look better in my clothing line than yours! And, I bet those kids would like my meal boxes better than yours, you total loser!"

Acadou sniffled a bit "Huh... Oh no, those kids would look better in new Acadou athletic wear, than your pathetic bailor twine products! And, my supermarkets have way better quality food than yours! I will send a few plane loads there immediately, and I bet they get their before yours!"

Harold quickly shot back "I am calling my plane service right now, to fill up the plane! I bet mine will be better, as I will include school stuffs, tractors, and much more than food! You fashion faux pas idiot!"

Acadou had the last word just before hanging up the phone "No way! I will go there and see to it personally that those poor kids out there have running water, schools, and an Acadou library of smart design! Do not let me see you there distributing goods, or it may come down to fistacuffs!"

The phone hung up. Harold smiled. It would be a great Christmas afterall, he thought, in watching the smoke from his oven run over the ceiling all over his house...


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