I was under da influenza when I bought your product....

Johapat Ricapuke was a good man. He worked hard, for his income. He cared about his job, as he was the top shoe lace insert man at his shoe factory in Lisbon. He won shoe lace insert "person" of the year in the shoe lace olympics, and was a good beer drinker. There was nothing not to like about this shoe lace person.

But, then he began binge drinking at work. Sometimes he would tie knots in the shoes that were shipped out to the sports shops. Angry retailers would mail the company back, and protest... Eventually, warnings came to the shoe lace tie guru, from up above... Management told him to try to lay off of the booze a bit, but to most importantly stop tying knots in their high quality shoes.... Or they could lose sales, sponserships, and what not.. So in a daring threat, the cut his wages by 10 %.

10 %... Well, Johapat Ricapuke was stunned. So stunned, he talked to his lawyer, honest Ronest. Ronest told him "Listen, Johapat.. You just forget about your pay cut.. You go buy stuff, under my direction, and we can win win... You can still have all of that wonderful stuff that you still call, toys, under your roof!"

Johapat listened to his lawyer, Ronest.. He got drunk, went into a dealership and got a truck, brand new. When he went back after the 30 day return period, he said he was in such a drunken stupor during that month, that he did not realize he had indeed bought a truck... That the sale lady had taken advantage of his drunken yet beautiful mind... Resulting in a court battle, but with Ronest by his side, he had won the truck and a ten thousand dollar trip to an A and A in Jamaica. He had taken his whole family there for a great trip, with lots of booze and dancing.

Then he went to the Harley Davidson dealer. He got really high, on a few bogies, and then purchased a beautiful Harley. Once again, he pleaded that he was high as a kite, and thought he was signing for a petition for noise reduction for Harleys in the city streets!  His lawyer, Ronest was there with him again.. He had won the case, and the courts gave him a ten thousand dollar trip to a drug weaning clinic in Columbia. There, he took his family for a beautiful vacation while he helped the military burn the fields, with his face always in the direction of the fog...

Finally, he started hearing of the H1N9 virus. He decided not to take the flue shot this year, but to hang around a bunch of chickens who liked to mosh to heavy metal, drink booze, and smoke allot of dope. He then walked into a Yacht dealership.. He bought a 120 foot yacht.... And you know the rest of the story...

His final stint was to get a doctors note to say he was brain dead. He had bought a mansion on Einstein Avenue, but the fun had ended there and then... The doctor said his brain was indeed functioning, after trying to pick up his wife, unknown to Johapat, was the doctors medical secretary at the time...

As to all schemes, there is, an end...


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