The Self Publishing 12 days of Christmas for 95 % of us...

What does Christmas mean for the majority of us self published authors. I think of the 12 days of self publishing... Scrooge approved.

1. The usual "Gesh, I didn't know you wrote a book! Where did you find time for that" from festive long lost friends or relatives.

2. When your manly friends tell you "Oh, I did'nt have time to read your books, but my wife read it and she sure likes it... But she likes just about anything she reads"

3. Where can I get a copy of that. I don't got a credit card so I can't order it online... Do you got any free copies...

4. The wife tells you "Why are you spending so much time on that thing. You got wood to split!"

5. Your son tells you "You should have put more pictures in that novel, dad. Maybe then I would have read it"

6. Your local library tells you "Oh, what a cute little book... We will put it way up there on the top shelf where it will keep the dust from falling on the traditional books"

7. Consignment book stores say "Oh, we forgot to put them out there on the shelf space. Sorry you found the same box you brought them in, way back there in our managers office"

8. "Autograph my book, please! If we are lucky enough when you die, it may be actually worth double its price"

9. When you buy more books then you sell, you realize that it is much like bringing back your beer bottles to the depot.

10. When the fourth book sells at zero, you realize there is something in the Universe such as Omega.

11. At least when you go out at a bar with a many drunken patrons, they are surely amazed when you show them your free business book cards and think you are Hemmingway, that is until the hangover wears off.

12. You do so pathetic that you write another one... This one will surely break the 50 dollar mark.. Surely?

Merry Christmas to all the wonderful Self Published Authors out there! Bah humbugger!

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