MLB signing that free agent! The how to do it yourself backyard project bird house series!
Ralhoumie fumed "How could this happen. How could this have happened! We offered him free bubble gum, free stadium wide WI FI, and a connection to the main jumbo tron during the game for surfing while playing at the game. Where did we go wrong, Flaggelum?"
Flaggelum who was the assistant to the GM for big moves, spit his chewing tobacco on top of his crystal ball, and began to rub it again and again in ecstasy "My crystal ball was wrong. A storm was indeed brewing in our rivals the Recyclables Tin Hats region, and they just had a few more feathers in their 1 million stuffed pillow to out do us! How can you compete with ostrich feathers, man!"
Ralhoumie shoved a 5 foot stack of papers off his desk and got up red faced. "Who the hell knew he had a fetish for ostrich feathers! My God, I would have bought him one with chrome plated claw gloves just to ride him into our bloody town in glory! Quickly, what is the story on our base cleaner. Can we at least save him from going with the Recyclables, who seem to recycle all of our talent we lose to all of their special perks and continue to make the playoffs?"
His assistant threw away a clipboard revealing important player stats, strengths, weaknesses and what not. Flaggelum spit more chewing tobacco on his crystal ball. He lathered his hands in the brownish tar gue, making his crystal ball opaque again. He closed his eyes and breathed in an overly deep sigh. He then placed his hands horizontally out in an open fashion away from his body.
"My crystal ball is telling me that our base cleaner is safe. He loves it that in each top half of the innings, we do never produce any runs. We never place gravel on the bases during any steals, because we cannot get anyone on base. His work is therefore less than it would be in our rivals Recyclable stadium, that is made out of recycled coffee cups and baseball mitts from the old legends of baseball old. We are safe with him"
Ralhoumie laughed "I guess we outperformed our bidders on this big fish. At least all the news is not all bad. Oh, my crystal ball reader! Just wait a minute! I say let us get an automatic windshield wiper system for those baseball bases... Save some money here, so we can afford the big pitch"