The "It starts?" car company had their star seller, Plantpro. He sold 10 thousand vehicles per month, even big numbers for actually selling their lemons on hand. The "It starts?" car manager came to see his star seller. He had heard that the competing car store just across the street, was close to breaking their record year just by one sale.
He could hear them chuckling, laughing, and providing rude gestures from across the street at the other "It moves?" car dealership.
Shadey talked to his top salesperson, Plantpro "Plantpro. You have been my stellar seller for the past 30 years! Number one, in all categories.. Even in selling our old car shop, to moving here. It was a great decision to move right in front of the old # 1 competitor... Now they are # 2, until this moment right here.. Just maybe... I hear we are in a tie, and today is the last day... The last hour, of the car sales competition... And, Ruggetio, the new, debanair salesman, could sell a bucket of Sahara desert sand to an Eskimo.. So I have heard... A new sales elite who is trying to take away our prestigious sales cup away from us!"
Plantpro laughed "We got an hour left in the year? Well, I will grab the cup again for our team! Just tell all of your mediocre salesmen to back off for this hour, and I can get the winning car lemon sale!"
Shadey replied "Yep, and we only got one new car left on the car lot. The lemon matic 2000! It will take a miracle, as they are selling their mirage crystal 3000, over there. God help us!"
Plantpro ran out into the parking lot... He could see a car slow down in front of him. It was a woman driver, thank goodness, he thought! He took off his shirt, in the hot hazy sun, to show off his muscles and grey chest hairs.
Across the road, Ruggetio ran up to the curb where the Mirage Crystal 3000 stood, shining in the afternoon sun. He put on some Reggai music, and began to shuffle his feet like a jackrabbit who has eaten a magic mushroom. It did not work, as the lady hauled up to see the older, but still handsome, Plantpro.
She drove up to the lemon matic 2000. "Wow, what a beautiful car. It is so shiny and bright in the sun! I love its metallic yellow color. Is it good on gas?"
Plantpro opened the door to her car "It sure is good on gas. It will leave your pocketbook feeling as if it has never left the gate! For a young, star model woman like you, it will leave the sidewalk male jocks in awe, and wanting a drive in your truly hot car! And make you look even hotter! The Lemon matic 2000 has 4 tires, a steering wheel, and comes with an owners manual!"
The lady walked around the car. She was terribly impressed "Wow, but what on earth would I do with an owners manual? Can you just take a thousand dollars off of the price, if you keep the owners manual?"
Plantpro was a stickler, and wanted to keep this sale. He could see Ruggetio dancing on top of the hood of the Mirage Crystal 3000 now, doing a jig to some country western music. "This owners manual comes with the car, I am afraid... And if you look at that sticker price, we already cut the cars price in half! And it comes with everything a lady loves. An AM radio, one cup holder, and a high polished state vanity mirror. Not one of those cheap, low quality ones the Mirage cyrstal 3000 has! And warranty, you got lots of warranty on this baby! It is called the "We are concerned with your driving quality" warranty. If you can prove to us you are a good driver, the car will always be covered... We got GPS on this thing, and we track your driving, your shifting, where you go to those great Tupperware parties to drink punch out of those plastic goblets till dawn.. Long as you do not smash into a park bench, or a tree, you are covered, like a good friend who is always stuck on your back!"
The lady struck back kindly "I truly want this car! Everything you told me is truly great, and awe inspiring! But, there is one problem. I want a sunroof, so when I am driving my friends can stick their heads out of the top and flash guys at the local pubs! I cannot take this car, just on that account alone! I see that gentleman over there has his legs kicking out of his sunroof, already! I am heading over there now"
Plantpro held her arm tight, nearly bruising it now "Wait, I can get you a sunroof. It will be in the garage for a week, as our mechanics are off and it takes a bit of time to order it. You stay right here and sign the bloody contract, right now!"
The lady pushed him away "Ouch, mister. That grip you got their is that of a Caiman alligator! I am going to see the man on the other side.. Excuse me sir!"
She got in her car, and started to drive off as Plantpro began banging on her drivers side window in desperation "I can get you a sunroof in a day or so!", as he began to shorten the time.
He could see Ruggetio showing his Mirage Crystal 3000 to the beautiful woman, as she was being dazzled and impressed by the new salesman. He honked the horn for her, as a quack quack could be heard from the car. Ruggetio smiled, his golden teeth glaring in the sun, as she sot down in the car.
The car manager realized there was only 10 minutes left on the clock for that one precious sale. He looked at Plantpro "We are doomed, Plantpro! We lost the sales! I guess you are truly, yesterdays man! Sigh!"
Plantpro then ran to his car, and opened his lunch box. There, lied a 1930's can opener his grandfather gave to him, as a present for his first job he had ever had... Being a car salesman.
He ran on the top of the lemon matic 2000. He cut into the metal with his can opener, peeling the metal back at record speed. Ruggetio seen the action on the other side, as he ran to get the car contract from inside of the building. 3 minutes remained.
Plantpro then ripped off the remaining metal, that made a big tear in the metal from the canned opened sunroof, right to the back glass. He turned the metal around, as to create a great glare of sunlight in the young womans eyes as she could not see enough to sign the contract for the Miracle Cyrstal 3000 car.
Ruggetio was furious. He began to swear at his rival on the other side of the road "Lets go inside to sign this, that guy over there is acting so unprofessional!"
She slammed the pen down on Rugettios clipboard. "He has a sunroof on that car. It was the only thing stopping me from buying that car, as I really needed a sunroof tonight for my friends driving while flashing party was going on.. Sorry, but I love lemon colors!"
She ran over, as Plantpro opened the contract and placed it on the top of the car. She signed with only 5 seconds remaining... And, the car was sold..
Ruggetio fell to his knees in disbelief, in not even tying his rivals record this year... So close.. But yet, so far away.
The manager slapped Plantpro on the arm, and congratulated him. The woman had her car towed away to her house, as she happily tooted her horn, while looking out of her sunroof at the greatest salesman that ever lived... PlantPro...