Marijunapla made a great meatball sauce. A super spaghetti sauce, that kept the customers coming back for more.. You guessed it! Meatball heartiness fun!
She served up a wicked sauce, with several helpings of pasta! It was only until on day, when Rosalandini finished off his third plate of spaghetti at her diner, that he informed her of a new spaghetti shop that would open soon just a block away from her diner.
"Marijunapla, your spaghetti sauce is divine! But, I must tell you about no lies!" as he held his hands to the sky "A new spaghetti meatball diva is now in town! Her meatballs are soft, moist, and when the meat hangs between the peoples teeth, they tell me they all fail to brush their shiny pearly whites at night! They rather go to bed with the awesome, lingering, meaty taste of her finely seasoned meat under their tongues. Until it rots away the very next week! How will you compete against such a fine cuisine?"
Marijunapla laughed, as she tossed 20 raw meatballs into the sky, only to be directed into a bowl with a spatula with her left hand "My seasoning cannot be beat. It is from an old recipe from my great great dog Bowser, who by accident flipped my hamburger bowl into a clump of dusted up remnants from my floor sweeping! Boys, little did I know, when I picked up those ingredients and made them into a fascinating gourmet meatball, I did not realize how many times my boys came back for more and more! Even though grandpa Hoonkio died that day, due to unknown causes might I add, I knew I had a great meatball! Thanks to Bowser! I am also until this day very unhappy that I got the vet to shorten Bowsers legs by 2 inches each, so she could no longer tip the meat bowl on the floor! Forgive me Bowser! You are the reason for my success!", as she held her hands above her head clasped together.
Rosalandini shrugged his shoulders, as he wipped the spaghetti stains from his mouth, his cheeks, and ankles "Your sauce is so lovely and flowing! Well, awesome story, and I truly think the dog is the patriarch of the story! But, you must take her on at the local spaghetti sauce competition. Only then, we will know a true winner! Arrivderci, my sweet!" as he headed to the door.
Rosalandini smiled, when speaking to her employees "Keep tossing the meat on the floor! Make sure there is lots of garlic powder, onion powder, duck fat, and bat poop there. It is the secret to our success!"
She then grabbed the local paper - Spaghetti Meatball contest, is Rosalandini afraid to lose her # 1 placing?
"Blah", as she removed her falsies to let them soak overnight in the pasta sauce "Who needs polident?"
Morning came... She had all her fine spices with her, to enter the fine contest of champions! There, she could see a lovely blond cooking up a meatball storm, in her pot of high fire and steam! The film focused on this blond, wavering back and forth with a short shorts and a low cut bikini top. She screamed "Judges, I am Gresoolio, the best meatballer on the planet! Come and eat at my restaurant just next to that old hag, Rosalandini, and be prepared for a tastebud explosion! Remember, a good tip to one of our waitress may lead to a cosmic explosion desert as well!"
Rosalandini then fumed "So you are the one, who thinks your meatballs are the most flavorful! Well, my waitresses offer cushions and fall arrest harnesses should you eat too much and then fall out of your chair to try to crack my wonderful cheap old world ceramic floor!"
Rosalandini then tossed her spices on the floor, the garlic, the onion powder, and her dog knocked over the bowl in perfect harmony. Then she realized that she was missing a bat, to come into her kitchen to poop on the floor. She hit the dog over the head with her stirring spoon "How could you forget the bat, Bowser? Shame on you!"
Then she realized and whimpered to herself, as her sauce began steaming up in her pot "Bats do not fly during the day!" This contest was held during the day, which was not fair, in her mind. She ran outside to a window that was open, and stuck her hand under a shingle. "Aha, a bat" She concealed the bat as good as she could, and then squeezed the very life out of him over her bowl of meat. Bat poop clumped down into the mixture, as she yelled and screamed in much delight.
Gresoolio could see Rosalandini ecstatic on her brew, as the meatballs flew into her rivals final sauce. Gresoolio then seen a bottle of chipotle spice, and flung it into her sauce when Rosalandini blew a kiss to one of the judges to the side of the cookout. Rosalandini looked back too late, as she stirred and stirred, only to realize she finished last in the contest cookout today.
Gresoolio finished first. She held the trophy high above her head, thanked her cat first, her hamster second, and then her bottle of liquid plumber last. She cried, as she road home in victory.
Rosalandini wept in her pot of garlic, onion powder, and bat poop. She then decided to strain it all out, to see why the ingredients did not work out. She found an empty bottle of chipotle spice in the bottom. She screamed "Gresoolio! You two bit clumpy tomato paste -----"
Rosalandini then worked all night, masking together a huge meatball- The size of her restaurant, just outside of her restaurant. She pushed on it, with all of her chefs in unison. It began to roll, towards Gresoolios restaurant. It smashed straight through Gresoolios new restaurant, with her trophy stuck in its meaty valley! And Gresoolio too, was mushed in between a large mushroom and a meat cliff! She screamed "Save me, Rosalandini! I am sorry, I did not know you would take losing so bitterly! You have the greatest sauce, and I did cheat!"
The whole city of Meatballopolic heard her last scream that night, as Rosalandini fetched the remnants of the meatball tornado she had unleashed and fed it to its citizens.... Gresoolio and all!