The First Ever Bank of the Incredible pyramid scheme!
That is until Mohovaflack, came around the corner in his caramel colored limousine. He stopped at the Bank of Pyramids First Ever front doors, where the vice president, Patooshia Demooka walked out. The long stretched car halted in front of the bank, as a window rolled down. There, a handsome Mohavaflack smiled at Patooshia "What is a curvy woman like you, doing in a glamorous, exciting place like this! Did not not hear of the blue light district? You are working too hard, and you are in need of some serious vacation! Does Siberia say anything to you?"
He had got word that Patooshia was on her way out, due to her placing billions of dollars in investors money into revamping old, shut down mines, changing them into senior citizens homes. Only problem was, after the seniors started living underground, it was too difficult for them to get outside, as sometimes the underground elevator would breakdown, and they could not get up for a nice walk to the outdoors. The plan went bankrupt, and investors were left shirtless.
"Oh, my, thank you for the blushing comments! I just lost my job today, as you probably had heard on the news. My name is Patooshia, and I really need a drive to anywhere right now! I lost billions of investors money, down the shaft, so to speak in our luxurious condo development in old, mineral stripped mines! They were so spacious, and the look of the black coal walls was breathtaking... I am unsure why the seniors sued us, but I lost my job because of their selfishness!"
He opened the limo door, as Patooshia rolled over his lap.
What soon followed, was an extravagant trip to Siberia, North Korea, and the Sahara Desert. In their last stop, they fried eggs on their bellies and rolled in the sand afterwards.
Then, at a luxurious hotel, Mohavaflack opened a bottle of fine vintage 1978 swish. He then poured her a glass, as she swigged the whole thing in one gulp, as she laid across the bed. He rubbed her shoulders, "So tell me, my darling. The Pyramid Bank First Ever, how did they ever, first of all, make all that money!" She laughed in a long, hard giggle "Oh, it was so easy. But, they signed me to a non disclosure agreement. If I would ever tell anyone, or if the word ever got out, they would cancel all of my credit cards and my very own pyramid loan scheme. I am swarmed in secrecy!", she smiled as he continued to rub her back.
"Darling, we have been together for much longer than a day now! How much more trust do you need to have? Tell you what. You tell me the secret, and I will buy you the biggest tract of recovered tar sands land in Canada you have ever dreamed of ever having! And I will put the deed in your name!"
She smiled, and decided to toss the beans. A large fart could be heard before she talked "Yes, it is a pyramid scheme. The bank loans money at small % interest, at 30 % or more. Then, the people who take out huge 100 thousand dollar loans or more, are allowed to borrow it out again to their friends at 30 to 40 %. Then, they friends below them are allowed to borrow out the money to their friends, at 75 to 85 %... And the interest in the end could get as high as 200 %! The interest keeps building, and finally someone defaults... Then, the person just below the other person that took out the loan to the person that started it can repossess what they purchased, and then use the proceeds to pay off the loan, while making money all the way around for everybody... Except, for the person who is on the bottom..."
Mohavaflack laughed "Of course.. I should have known this was taking place.. Well, my dear, finish that bottle of swish. To be quite honest, I was going to shoot you and use your leftover brazier as cantaloupe holders in my newly renovated kitchen! But, in just these few hours of intense sponge leaking, you have proved to me you are much more than a creaky vault! A woman as smart as you, investing in coal mine developments, and in pyramid loans, is a woman that a strong man like myself truly needs!"
She smiled at him, as they once again embraced and watched a romantic film of Frankenstien meets the Energizer Bunny, on pay per view.
Later that year, Mohavaflack became rich and followed his dream, with his beauties idea on converting old, warn out nuclear plants into huge resort, spa, and beauty parlors!