Skip to main content

Da bus patrol tinks der tough!

Louieti looked his 10 year old friend Sparkum. They were in the back of the bus, but the bus patrol was heading to the back. Someone using a spit ball machine hit Elloti in the back of the head, multiple times, like way to fast to be anybody lower than a 4th grader. Elloti kept pointing at one of her resisting crushes, who was Louieti and the other Sparkum.

Louieti whispered to Sparkum "Elloti must have squealed on us! I see the bus patrol heading to the back of the bus. They may bring us to the principals office. Why did you use the spit ball machine, Sparkum? Did you not know the booger launcher is more efficient and harder for the victim to sense?".

Sparkum sighed and whispered, with the bus patrol now taking off their sunglasses, now halfway up the buses aisle, "Listen man. I threw the spit ball machine out da window. Do not say a word. I got a plan".

The two bus patrol were now next to the two culprits, next to the emergency exit at the very rear of da bus. They both began flexing their chest through their white, over tight t-shirts "Yo, you guys, tink dat is fun to hit a beautiful young lady wit a sput ball? You see her crying over there?" The two young men looked at Elloti, who stuck out her tongue at them and began to laugh.

Louieti yelled, "Not us man, it is Philienetti!"  Philienetti, who was just a grade two student, screamed in protest "It was Sparkum and Louieti loaded da spit gun for him! I seen them with my two eyes".

The two tough, redundant, veteran bus patrol elitists grabbed Sparkum who was sitting closest to the aisle. The biggest one said in a rough voice "Ok, up to the front!".

Immediately Louieti reached far down in his pack sack. He hauled out his water pistol filled with finely refined chicken manure. His dad was a chicken farmer, and always let Louieti find devious ways to get rid of the stinky liquid. He let go a myriad of squirts into the bus patrols eyes. They could not endure the smell. Their hands reached for their eyes, to try to get rid of the pain of liquid manure in their eyes. Sparkum then opened the back bus door, and flung the bus patrol onto the hood of a turbo charged Lada. The hood crumpled, as the two bus patrols rolled off the car into the swamp where they rolled into a nest of fire ants. There, the ants bit them, as the two young men brushed them off and began urinating on each other to try to remedy the burning sensation on their skin.  They shook their fist at the bus, which stopped at the red light just a few hundred feet down the road.

Sparkum looked at a nervous Louieti. Sparkum then hit a panicking Philienetti over the head with his chicken shit gun. "Ok, Louieti. We planned this for a long time, and there ain't no looking back now!". Louieti gulped some spit down his throat, but then found some true grit "Bus driver, you are going to turn this bus around and take us to Canada".

The bus driver put her hands up "You guys are crazy! We are in Texas, how will we escape the authorities?".

Sparkum laughed at the bus driver "You just keep telling people we are on a scheduled school trip to Canada, to go see the ice monkeys! Now, you keep a driving, or I will fill your face full of liquid chicken defecation!"

To be continued......


Popular posts from this blog

My Dog has ate a Ferrero Rocher.

I had only went into a store to buy a few Ferrero Rocher packages of chocolates... Then, I went into the next store, not realizing that I left the small, 3 chocolates per package, delicious Rochers in my middle vehicle organizer. On the way back, I did not even notice.

I had got out of my vehicle, and only when I went to search for something on that side, it all came together. The package was torn, with only one individually wrapped Ferro Rocher out of its packaging. She had selected one, and even tore the golden foil paper from the once existing Rocher Chocolate.

I looked over at my Dog. This was a little too much for me to handle. I yelled "Pushkin! You ate one of my Ferrero Rocher!"  Is she the only dog in the world that probably ate a Ferrero Rocher.

Good point in standing, she actually thought the process through. She did not destroy the three chocolates in the package, all in one bite. She used her incisors, exactly as a surgeon would, to take apart the package from t…

The Self Publishing 12 days of Christmas for 95 % of us...

What does Christmas mean for the majority of us self published authors. I think of the 12 days of self publishing... Scrooge approved.

1. The usual "Gesh, I didn't know you wrote a book! Where did you find time for that" from festive long lost friends or relatives.

2. When your manly friends tell you "Oh, I did'nt have time to read your books, but my wife read it and she sure likes it... But she likes just about anything she reads"

3. Where can I get a copy of that. I don't got a credit card so I can't order it online... Do you got any free copies...

4. The wife tells you "Why are you spending so much time on that thing. You got wood to split!"

5. Your son tells you "You should have put more pictures in that novel, dad. Maybe then I would have read it"

6. Your local library tells you "Oh, what a cute little book... We will put it way up there on the top shelf where it will keep the dust from falling on the traditional books"