Harold Wannapus Billionaire eccentric even in polls with Hillary and Trump!
A reporter had this to ask on his recent visit to the U.S. Virgin Islands while on vacation while on the campaign trail "Sir, the polling has you even with the two heavy weights in this Presidential campaign. People do not understand how you are doing it. All you have offered in your campaign was to enforce a ten ply toilet paper act to make washrooms less difficult, a new holiday called alien day to celebrate the extra terrestrial life that you say lives here amongst us on earth, and a new citizen catapulting system to ferry people from one city to another"
Harold Wannapus drank down his pina colada "Poll numbers can be confusing. Who uses percentages in real life, anyways! Percentages, the old system used by the cave man in counting bison in the old west. Geuss what? There are no bison left roaming in our old west! Percentages have done them in! Well America, you can count on one thing! Wannapus will get the economy going by offering coupons to higher cost government services if you mail them in within an hour of paying for your rebate! I will cut back the cities police force to one horse division, and use a new squeal like a pig on your neighbor system to pay for it! Now, I got to get back there and dig a hole in the sand to see if I can find fresh water for the Island here. So far all I hit was salt water, and importing water is costing the Island too much money! I am thinking of a total recycle system for peoples sweat, were we can recover the lost water from people to reuse as drinking water! Vote for me to save America!"