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Showing posts from July, 2016

Billionaire Harold Wannapus envies the Solar Planes record so he builds a solar submarine!

Harold Wannapus waved to his millions of adoring fans, as half of his body was inside of the submarine he had constructed for his around the oceans and back world event tour.

One scientist held up his pen near the dock to ask a question before he got in "Your submarine has solar panels at the top, to absorb the earths rays! How fast does your submarine go on a full tank of the suns energy?"

Harold smiled back and responded "Oh, it will go at at least 200 knots. We constructed this submarine to be as nimble and agile as a turtle, that actually ploughs the water forward as to create the impression of rising sea levels for all kids to enjoy when sloshing near the shore! Next question that I can obviously answer, please!"

Someone from CNONO news channel quipped "Do you have enough foodstuffs for your voyage? That is always the problem with these voyages, keeping the mass of the vessel down as to conserve energy!"

Harold laughed and hauled out his fishing rod…

Harold Wannapus says goodbye to a real trooper of a worker!

You came in every morning at exactly the right time! You made coffee out of the same coffee grinds. Even though our share prices went through the roof, you were an exceptional goof!

I loved it when you worked overtime and we charged you for straight!
You never really checked out your time sheet at the gate!

Our company saved money through gluing pencil shavings in the right direction,
who ever thought they would pass our inspection,

You sweated in cotton chairs,
with your bum smell in the air,

we knew we could not get our body odor out of them,
but you had lots of flair,

What will we do now that you are gone,
is all that is left in the staff refrigerator will be left alone?

You left your moldy sandwiches there,
as if they were,
an algae wasteland of delight,
you left there for us to see,

Oh but who is me!

Now you leave for a job overseas,
how can we ever repay those fees,
when you overcharged hotel and flights,
on business nights,

to try to promote our brand,
you tried to give us a h…

Harold Wannapus finally cuts his grass

Lucy got up this mid July morning. She began frying her husbands favorite breakfast, beans and wieners. Yappie came around, her Newfoundland dog, to slobber all over the floor. Later on she would mop it as she figured she did not need any water, as only a bit of soap and vinegar would polish the floors in a flash. She tossed the dog a wiener.

Her husband got up, rolled out of bed and fell on the floor as usual. His hair was all out of shape, his breath stunk the dog food that lay in the dogs bowl, and his ears were full of wax.

"Hi dear", as he began to scratch his crotch "Where is my souffle and back bacon"

Lucie got irate and fired a frying pan over his head "Harold Wannapus, do not give me that souffle and bacon talk! I cooked you some beans and weiners, and yet you still want that fancy French Cuisine. Look outside that window, what do you see?  What do you see?"

Harold opened his curtains up. He looked up in the sky, as he rubbed his eyes "Why …

Harold Wannapus and his Fifth sense part 2

Harold was just going to let the rude guy at the end of the line up leave it as it was, but he continued to shoot some hurtful words back.

"Your accent tells me your not from around this area. You are probably from hick country somewhere from no wheres. Now order your friggin sandwich and stop holding us important people up!"

"Just a bloody minute, you urban antenna head!" He gave a wink to the lady at the counter "Get me a bag of chips, and individually microwave them at full heat for two minutes. Yeah, individually" The crowd began to moan "It really appeals to my fifth sense"

The burly man in the back picked up a paper, crumpled it up and hit Harold in the head.

He looked back "Some people say they have the ordinary 5 senses. You know. Taste, touch, smell, sight, and my favorite last one is feeling microwave or high frequency energy in my brain!"

The worker then went about to place each chip at a time in the microwave, as Harold vi…

Harold Wannapus and his 5 th sense for sandwiches.

Harold walked into the European big sandwich store. It was big. You could get any sandwich you wanted. Pork pulled rib, steak and cheese, and his favorite fries and gravy with an assortment of fruits and vegetables. Of course, with him being American, and with him being in a different country, he tried his best to convey what he wanted in this great country of England.

He walked up to the sandwich assemblers, with a big crowd behind him. He iterated politely what he wanted between his 15 inch sandwich buns.

"Ok, I want my fries on there microwaved hot. Put the cheese on cold as ice, as well as the gravy! The sandwich toasted? No, I rather it drenched in cold water, then served to me. Yeah, you do got cold water on tap here, do yeah? How in the heck to you wash your...."

The worker interrupted and sighed "Yes sir, we sure do got cold water on tap and I will drench your big 15 inch round sandwich with hot fries, cold curds and gravy sub in our super wash tub in the back!…

4 on 5 star rating on Goodreads

Got another 4 on 5 star rating on Goodreads for Part 3 the other day. This comes as welcome news,  as now out of 26 reviews and ratings, the average for this book is 3.91 out of 5 stars.

Part 4 is bogged down again somewhat, due to time constraints again. Will try to get it moving again this week. Have really not much time to myself, still as of late.

Till next time...