He started to wipe his cinder filled glasses clear, until only black smudge marks remained. His eyes moved haughtily to the left, to the right, until finding a small crevice in his eye lens upon seeing a clear picture of his long lost nephew.
"I see yah now, Harold. I remember you" he put his rifle down near a baby carriage parked nearby "And I remember how much of a cheap con artist your dad was"
Harold got up, jumped over the fence at the pig pen, and walked towards him with much excitement in his legs. He held out his hand that was full of pig manure, towards his Uncle.
His Uncle laughed and tightened his clasp of his right hand against his nephews.
"A little pig shit makes your lung stronger. Oh what the hay! My, have you changed since you were in diapers. You used to fill them diapers all day long, now it is all over you" his Uncle laughed.
His Uncle marked his own face with the pig manure like a football player, under his eyes and chin. "It keeps the sun out of my eyes, boy! And, I cannot afford cataract surgery!"
Harold reached down towards a pail of water to wash his hands in. He began splashing his body with it as well "Uncle, I am here ready to work. Family is always the best business friends"'
Uncle Tootleminder then scratched his chin "Hum, well your damn father never thought so. A long long time ago, we traveled for a Good Friday and Easter Sunday fun trip to Vegas. There, we were going to gamble all of our fortunes to make it big. You see, we started to card count when we were in our teens, and we began getting better at it all the time. To make a long story short, we went to Suckers End Casino in Vegas, and there we sat at the blackjack table. We had everything on the line. Some pretty woman passed just behind me, and your dad lost his focus and gave me the all in blink. Little did I know that wink was for someone with more curves than a bottle of beer. I went all in, and I lost it all"
Harold sighed "Well, at least my dad met some beautiful young women down at the Casino! Maybe I have an unknown brother of some sorts"
Uncle Tootleminder replied angrily "Can't get a man pregnant, Harold. He brushed the lovely cute little cross dresser off on me, after my hand slipped down and caught a handful of hairy bum!"
Harold laughed "Oh well, so where are we going with this story, Uncle, I am some hungry and here to work as well"
To be continued - Buy "The Supermarket Guy" for even more super humor writing! While quantities last!