Friend wants a cat story... Ok... "The cry of the fearful meow!"
Puddles the cat, was a beautiful orange European cat. She loved her scratch pad, loved her mouse toys, and loved her daily morsel of specialty whale blubber from Alaska. She was definitely, a high class feline to be adored and praised. Her hair had a luxurious milky silky feeling in texture, her eyes glimmered a sterling silver in the moonlight, and her meow was that of an Opera mezzo soprano from the halls of audio beauty.
Then, to Puddles dismay, her owners had a baby. The baby was getting bigger, and bigger in size. Soon, poor Puddles sometimes was forgotten about. No more playing with silky stockings with her master, Blookadun the Third. No more chasing her Corithian leather bouncy ball, with Mrs. Blookadun, as now she was busy changing diapers... The worst of it, Puddles had no more fresh kitty litter mixed with the beautiful sand of California... She meowed, scratched her pad, violently at night, as her masters would shoo away the forgotten about cat...
The baby was now 3 years old. She would chase Puddles around the house, until Puddles would jump high on counter tops to avoid her clutches... But then, one day, when the parents were busy discussing a matter of affairs in the living room, the baby made her way towards the hallway. Puddles the cat, figured she could charge right by the baby... Puddles had not figured on how fast the little baby could lunge at her, now that she had grown again just in the past month.
The baby ran with Puddles down the hall, as Puddles meowed for help... The three year old opened the toilet lid with one hand.. Pushed Puddles down into the bowl, as the cover closed tightly over her resisting head...
Then, the three year old reached for the flush, and held it down for several minutes....
All of a sudden, Puddles felt her being spun around in a violent circle, as her beautiful fur was being flattened by this incredible surge of water. Puddles could feel her claws scratching the ceramic toilet, but only grasping at a slight chance that they would somehow pierce the pink colored toilet...
She reached up a paw, just like in the "Terminator 2" film.. You know, where the machine gave the thumbs up to the heroes.. Her action pushed up the toilet seat, and she grasped for an overhanging piece of toilet paper... The paper just rolled off of the roll, right into her face, becoming a heavy burden as the water soaked it within seconds...
The baby laughed, as her parents rushed in.. They could see Puddles turning round and round, with her paw lifted up in defeat.. No more whale blubber meals... No more salmon Sundays..
She flushed down through the toilet, before Blookadun the Third could rescue her...
It was like a horror ride at Disney World.... She swung and flied down the pipe, at full speed. She cried and meowed as her fur became black as mud. Finally, she flung out of the pipe into a large basin of human poop. She cried, as she slogged among the paper and hard cheese filled, floating poop bits..
She swam over to a large rubber ball that was floating in the sea of pooh. She grasped it with her paws, realizing that she had to float somehow.. A cat could not swim, unless she had a beautiful exotic floating Khufu ship, like those of the Pharoahs had in ancient Egypt!
Only, her claws went in too deep into the balloon... 'Stupid masters forgot to take me to the pet groomer last week!' she thought.. "Baby had to go shopping, geesh!'
All of a sudden, her ball was sinking... Once again, her body was getting into the stinky goop again... She was neck high.. Then.. Her whole body was submerged!
She thought back in time when she by accident, fell into a boat full of king crab.. Remembering when she had a delicious feast, given by her masters way back when... When days were.. Much better...
Oh, but what is that light up there... Is God coming for me?
All of a sudden she could see a hand, and a feeling of being lifted... Through the stink! Yes! Through the ground! Yes! To the green grass, yes! Euphoria!
She could vaguely see her master, from the sludge covering her eyes.... He had a defibrillator on her chest, and a bottle of high pressure oxygen blasting up the cats nose! She was saved, as she coughed up a few tampons...
She thought 'My masters really do love me after all! I need a bath in goat milk! A massage, for sure! Oh, and they need to lock up that baby! My goodness!"
Mrs. Blookadun sprayed her down with a garden hose, to get her hair back to a white color again... Mr. Blookadun the Third, then gave her a small piece of exquisite Iranian caviar.... The Baby smiled and giggled at the wet cat, as she meowed in protest...
The end... A cat story...
Then, to Puddles dismay, her owners had a baby. The baby was getting bigger, and bigger in size. Soon, poor Puddles sometimes was forgotten about. No more playing with silky stockings with her master, Blookadun the Third. No more chasing her Corithian leather bouncy ball, with Mrs. Blookadun, as now she was busy changing diapers... The worst of it, Puddles had no more fresh kitty litter mixed with the beautiful sand of California... She meowed, scratched her pad, violently at night, as her masters would shoo away the forgotten about cat...
The baby was now 3 years old. She would chase Puddles around the house, until Puddles would jump high on counter tops to avoid her clutches... But then, one day, when the parents were busy discussing a matter of affairs in the living room, the baby made her way towards the hallway. Puddles the cat, figured she could charge right by the baby... Puddles had not figured on how fast the little baby could lunge at her, now that she had grown again just in the past month.
The baby ran with Puddles down the hall, as Puddles meowed for help... The three year old opened the toilet lid with one hand.. Pushed Puddles down into the bowl, as the cover closed tightly over her resisting head...
Then, the three year old reached for the flush, and held it down for several minutes....
All of a sudden, Puddles felt her being spun around in a violent circle, as her beautiful fur was being flattened by this incredible surge of water. Puddles could feel her claws scratching the ceramic toilet, but only grasping at a slight chance that they would somehow pierce the pink colored toilet...
She reached up a paw, just like in the "Terminator 2" film.. You know, where the machine gave the thumbs up to the heroes.. Her action pushed up the toilet seat, and she grasped for an overhanging piece of toilet paper... The paper just rolled off of the roll, right into her face, becoming a heavy burden as the water soaked it within seconds...
The baby laughed, as her parents rushed in.. They could see Puddles turning round and round, with her paw lifted up in defeat.. No more whale blubber meals... No more salmon Sundays..
She flushed down through the toilet, before Blookadun the Third could rescue her...
It was like a horror ride at Disney World.... She swung and flied down the pipe, at full speed. She cried and meowed as her fur became black as mud. Finally, she flung out of the pipe into a large basin of human poop. She cried, as she slogged among the paper and hard cheese filled, floating poop bits..
She swam over to a large rubber ball that was floating in the sea of pooh. She grasped it with her paws, realizing that she had to float somehow.. A cat could not swim, unless she had a beautiful exotic floating Khufu ship, like those of the Pharoahs had in ancient Egypt!
Only, her claws went in too deep into the balloon... 'Stupid masters forgot to take me to the pet groomer last week!' she thought.. "Baby had to go shopping, geesh!'
All of a sudden, her ball was sinking... Once again, her body was getting into the stinky goop again... She was neck high.. Then.. Her whole body was submerged!
She thought back in time when she by accident, fell into a boat full of king crab.. Remembering when she had a delicious feast, given by her masters way back when... When days were.. Much better...
Oh, but what is that light up there... Is God coming for me?
All of a sudden she could see a hand, and a feeling of being lifted... Through the stink! Yes! Through the ground! Yes! To the green grass, yes! Euphoria!
She could vaguely see her master, from the sludge covering her eyes.... He had a defibrillator on her chest, and a bottle of high pressure oxygen blasting up the cats nose! She was saved, as she coughed up a few tampons...
She thought 'My masters really do love me after all! I need a bath in goat milk! A massage, for sure! Oh, and they need to lock up that baby! My goodness!"
Mrs. Blookadun sprayed her down with a garden hose, to get her hair back to a white color again... Mr. Blookadun the Third, then gave her a small piece of exquisite Iranian caviar.... The Baby smiled and giggled at the wet cat, as she meowed in protest...
The end... A cat story...
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