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Showing posts from January, 2014

As the Moon Shines- Newest Soap Opera!

Polterhep looked at his adoring wife, Shalahop. He threw the mountain of papers off of his desk, and made a huge mess on his marble floor. "Oil and gas, oil and gas... I should have went into the bloody oil and gas industry, instead of wasting my money and time into over sized, multi colored, jelly beans! We just cannot take over the market that Racani has! Just that I thought everybody would be flying around with anti gravity boots by now. So much for my sharp wits"

Shalahop sat on top of his desk, and rubbed her husbands back "Polterhep, but who would have thought your twin brother would have went into the same business as you! He was going to go into the Oil and Gas industry, and make billions! But your brother decided to really try to ruin you, this time!"

Polterhep's look on his face now was one of being exasperation "Well, who would ever come out with a brown colored, jelly bean? Pure genius, and he has outsold me by 10 to 1 jelly beans! Now, he is …

The First Ever Bank of the Incredible pyramid scheme!

The First Ever Bank of the Pyramid growth was astounding. Its share price went up to that of Google, or Apple status! They had the secret scheme, to make money hand over fist. Companies were trying to emulate their success, but only to be stopped with a iron curtain of secrecy.

That is until Mohovaflack, came around the corner in his caramel colored limousine. He stopped at the Bank of Pyramids First Ever front doors, where the vice president, Patooshia Demooka walked out. The long stretched car halted in front of the bank, as a window rolled down. There, a handsome Mohavaflack smiled at Patooshia "What is a curvy woman like you, doing in a glamorous, exciting place like this! Did not not hear of the blue light district? You are working too hard, and you are in need of some serious vacation! Does Siberia say anything to you?"

He had got word that Patooshia was on her way out, due to her placing billions of dollars in investors money into revamping old, shut down mines, chan…

Da Bus Patrol tinks der Tough, Part 5!

Louieti and Sparkum kept shoving their chicken feculence loaded pistols in the face of the middle grade students, as they patiently awaited for the crossing of the longest, undefended, peaceful border the world has ever know.

The Canadian and USA border.

During the dark evening hours of the bus ride, Sparkum would shine LED lights towards Vioputi's and Philieneittis heads, to show off the lime green colors of their heads from the paint cans they forcefully shoved their heads into.  Some kids would laugh, oddly enough, but their faces were hidden into the darkness.

The Bus just crossed the international border line from Washington state to British Columbia, and the female bus driver began to panick "We are entering Canada! I hope they do not put us in their nuclear mines, to mine uranium with a pick ax and toothbrush for the rest of our lives!"

Sparkum yelled at the bus driver, who was just about to stop at the Canada Customs Border check point "You got falsies in y…

Da Bus Patrol Tinks der Tough, Part IV!

Sparkum and Louieti who were sitting now near the front of the bus, edged the bus driver to go into a local McDonald's parking lot, where a few buses were parked in the far back, away from all the hustle and bustle.
"Park in between those two buses there!", exclaimed Sparkum. "Out of sight, hidden by those trees. We need to do some quick body work!" Immediately, Sparkum grabbed Vioputi and Philieniettis and threw them down the bus stairway. Along with the two cans of green paint. He too followed. Louieti remained behind to guard the rest of the bus, where 40 students remained in silence for fear of being sprayed with chicken feculence.

Sparkum then got Philieniettis to open the cans of paint with his buck teeth. One flew out of Philieniettis mouth. He was some mad, but decided against sucker punching Sparkum. He was some fast with a squirt gun filled with liquid chicken crud.

"Ok, now Vioputi, dip your hair into the can, and start running around the bus. …

Da Bus Patrol tinks der Tough Part 3!

Louieti forced the bus driver to open the bus door at the hardware store, where the bus was now stopped. Sparkum noted "I will go with him, and stick my chicken feculence gun buried deep in his back. Just in case he tries to warn the authorities about our presence. You never can trust a 11 year old kid, these days!".

Sparkum walked closely behind Ronaldoi, when entering the friendly hardware store. He picked up two gallons of green paint, from the back of the store, when Sparkum kicked Ronaldoi in the back of the pants "That is deck stain. That will not stick to our metal bus paint, you slimy little earth worm! Go and pick up that Tremclad paint, right now!  Or I will shoot you full of chicken love, right here now!"

Ronaldoi switched the paint for the good stuff, and then headed to pay at the counter. He then held out his 50 dollar I tunes card to the middle aged lady behind the desk. "An I Tunes card? Mister, I am sorry but we do not accept that kind of paym…

Da Bus Patrol tinks der Tough Part 2

Sparkum and Louieti then run up to the front of the bus, while yelling "Everybody down! Keep your heads down unless you want to be sprayed with this high powered chicken feculence!" The bus driver stood up from her seat, after parking the bus at a train station. "You put that thing down. There are no ice monkeys in Canada, only Ice Orangatuans. Give it up, you guys will be going to detention for a long, long time!" She held out her hand to receive the loaded chicken feculence gun from Sparkum. Sparkum then fired off a squirt in her open hand, as she began to jump up and down. She then got down behind her bus seat to look for some paper towels "Why you bad little imps..." Just before she said that, she turned around to see to pistols ready to fire right in front of her face. She crumbled and began to shake in fear "I did not know you had two guns! Ok, I will do whatever you want me to do! I know a short route to the northern Kingdom. If I ram the gat…

Da bus patrol tinks der tough!

Louieti looked his 10 year old friend Sparkum. They were in the back of the bus, but the bus patrol was heading to the back. Someone using a spit ball machine hit Elloti in the back of the head, multiple times, like way to fast to be anybody lower than a 4th grader. Elloti kept pointing at one of her resisting crushes, who was Louieti and the other Sparkum.

Louieti whispered to Sparkum "Elloti must have squealed on us! I see the bus patrol heading to the back of the bus. They may bring us to the principals office. Why did you use the spit ball machine, Sparkum? Did you not know the booger launcher is more efficient and harder for the victim to sense?".

Sparkum sighed and whispered, with the bus patrol now taking off their sunglasses, now halfway up the buses aisle, "Listen man. I threw the spit ball machine out da window. Do not say a word. I got a plan".

The two bus patrol were now next to the two culprits, next to the emergency exit at the very rear of da bus. …

Self help tip # 3021.34

Reducing Negativity in life.  It is hard to do. You may see depressing things in the news, or people that always bring you down. Some people just acting nasty, towards your life trail, without any reason at all.

We all experience this in our life, and many times over. Sometimes it comes from us, without us even knowing it. When or how we talk at times, can be taken differently by someone else. The tone a person uses, or their stance on positions or issues may not be the same as us. Political differences? Religious differences? Sporting differences?  Habit differences? And on and on.

You can reduce the negativity, by distancing yourself from the force. I do not think it is actually a good thing, to reduce the negativity to zero.

And there is a reason for this. Life is designed to challenge your mind. By removing the negativity, you remove the challenge. Where the negativity is forced on you, there is not much you can do, in the extreme sense of being in like a prison type atmosphere, …

My Dog has ate a Ferrero Rocher.

I had only went into a store to buy a few Ferrero Rocher packages of chocolates... Then, I went into the next store, not realizing that I left the small, 3 chocolates per package, delicious Rochers in my middle vehicle organizer. On the way back, I did not even notice.

I had got out of my vehicle, and only when I went to search for something on that side, it all came together. The package was torn, with only one individually wrapped Ferro Rocher out of its packaging. She had selected one, and even tore the golden foil paper from the once existing Rocher Chocolate.

I looked over at my Dog. This was a little too much for me to handle. I yelled "Pushkin! You ate one of my Ferrero Rocher!"  Is she the only dog in the world that probably ate a Ferrero Rocher.

Good point in standing, she actually thought the process through. She did not destroy the three chocolates in the package, all in one bite. She used her incisors, exactly as a surgeon would, to take apart the package from t…

Today's self help tips.

Ok. You are in a bad mood, and you do not know why. Your system has stopped. Nothing just feels right. How do you turn things around?

Allot of self help books will get you to try to get you to be positive in some aspect or another by changing eating habits, sleeping habits, or changing addictions.

These are all three things that do need to be resolved, in time, if you do have them. What I am focusing on here today, is the present.

And in the present, you can lift yourself easily, by doing the following.

1. First, I would say by actually doing something. It does not take much. Cleaning a room, or going outside and planting flowers. Where you do something that actually gives you a foot forward. Take up a new hobby, like painting?  Maybe a new sport, and it could be even darts, playing pool, or cards at some card club in your area. People are always welcoming, and they want to include you in their activities. Most of these organizations are looking for new members, all of the time.

It i…

The world is full of self help books.

My wife went through some old boxes of books the other day. They had different philosophies, one was called "Everything comes from the tummy" (from a french translation), "Le Secret" (of course the popular french version), "You can Heal your Life", are a few titles that came to discussion.

She informed me that my book was a self help book too. I asked, how can that be. It is a humor book, with a protagonist who defies the insurmountable challenges that are all around him, and eventually reaches a pinnacle where he alone is there in an effort to try to save the world from a near catastrophic event!

It spun through my mind, as one of the posts that I placed here "You are the economy", and how it keeps rising to the top in my most read blog section. I asked myself, why is that blog rising to the top. Simple words, simple directions, yet all true. And all good news, when you can direct an individual or people to focus their energies, then anything …

Ropio the rooster escapes from his Antarctica observatory.

The Chinese had come for the scientists... At the Antarctica observatory. But, they had forgot about Ropio, the Rooster.

He had crowed, many day and night, in his little 4 by 3 foot cage. Finally, he made a wild run from one side of the cage to the other, causing it to tip onto a high speed record player that some weird scientist forgot to unplug from the socket outlet.

It caused the poor bird to be spun round, and round, until he flung through a argon gas filled window into the outside of the warm enclosure.

Ropio was now feeling a sudden chill in his feathers. He was alone.  He began to walk for a few thousand feet, until he seen a few thousand penguins just below him.

"Oh, great. A bunch of penguins. They are my less intelligent, distant cousins. I will go slide down this hill and proclaim myself their great leader. They obviously will take me in, and find me a safe place to live until this freezing weather stops!"

He slid down the bank, as Pocko the Penguin, who was the…

Ipoitie realizes there are no more Holidays until Valentines.

Ipoitie watched as all of the New Years decorations were being placed away in a box.  His mother then put up the old boring family black and white pictures, with her Greek God statues. Ipoitie sighed. No more fun, until Valentines when he might be able to kiss a few ladies. He was 18 and decided not to go to college, but party wide open for a year. So he stayed at home, while all his friends went back to college, to get an education.

Ipoitie yelled at his mother "Give me the keys to the car. There must be a holiday being celebrated somewhere, in this wild old world".  His Mother, Montinita, replied "No car after your binge drinking last night. The holidays are over, time for you to dry out. There is a big mug of coffee out on the table, in the kitchen there!".  Ipoitie hissed at his mother, and decided to go to his room and listen to his heavy metal cd's.

He listened to "We are going to rock and roll, all night, and Party Every Day!" from Kiss. He sm…

News on the washer that will not spin!

The washer, Whirlpool #wtw4800xq that will not spin during its regular cycle, is now in recycle mode.

I am thinking that the control board, at a cost of near 200 $, is too risky to place into the machine. Especially after hearing all of the bad reviews on this machine from Amazon, and then having to take a chance on the control board working as it should.

The repair man, said this machine would not reset, contrary to my beliefs and Whirlpools phone person. On the U tube, and over the phone, Whirlpool tells me you just have to unplug it to reset the machine, for at least a minute or so. I done that, but the machine continues not to spin when the cycle calls for it.

Right now it is washing. Washing a pair of my hound dogs slippers. But, if they do not spin, how will I be able to dry them outside in minus 20 C weather.. Good golly miss Molly.

I give up. I may look to buy an Inglis. Mom said her Inglis lasted her, how long now... 9 years with no problems.. Wait a minute... Whirlpool boug…

My washer has quit spinning after 24 months from its purchase...

When you buy something, sales people always ask if you would like to purchase the extended warranty. I used to take it for some electronics, especially laptops, but have always had a hard time to buy these warranties.

Because when buying electronics, appliances, or what not, should they not last for at least 5 years? That is my personal opinion, and I know allot of you would say that the machine should last forever. Yeah, I remember those, long forever days that have passed us bye. But 5 years is what I would like to see as the minimum standard for consumer protection. I remember Moms old primitive, low tech washer, that used to last for at least 20 years time. Allot of things in the 70's, 80's, used to last forever and ever. Dads fridge, was replaced only after 25 years of use. Probably because it just looked, too old. Not up to todays fashion standards, I guess. So sadly enough, the old fridge stickers have been swept away with it too.

Well, I did not buy a warranty on this…

Another 5 on 5 star rating from Goodreads!

Part 3 has received another 5 on 5 star rating on Goodreads!

This comes as a total surprise, as now my 5 on 5 star ratings stand at 17 - 5 on 5 ratings out of a total of 24! Totals for all of the combined books in the series...

This is in incredible statistic, and thank you, the readers, for making it so high!

Till next time...

The New Years Resolution Contest.

Three young men decided to go through a real changeover for the New Year. To bet, on their New Years Resolution. The loser would have to jog around campus with a piece of double folded coarse sandpaper between his legs.

Hickutt said he would stop digging for gold up his nose. His nose picking was famous, throughout town, and his nostrils were getting bigger and bigger all of the time.

Tuppett, said he would stop peeing outside on the cold snowbanks. After all, the ladies said it would get smaller if he continued to do so.

Roffett, said he would stop scratching his balls. This could be a difficult task for him, as he enjoyed a good scratch now and then. People believed he was half cat, thus the reason for scratching himself all of the time.

A few hours passed at the deadline. The three men were drinking beer, in their University Dorm.

Tuppett said to Hickutt, in an attempt to get him to dig for some gold. He had many beers tonight, and he looked a little weasy "They say if you pi…