Dad cuts his Christmas tree on the crown lands!

It was the week before Christmas. Dad was taking his son Tootlio, through the evergreen forest. There, he would find the most beautiful Christmas tree for his family to partake in the decorating of it. Finally, Tootlio was old enough to read signs. There stood a sign in the forest "No cutting on crown lands without a permit". His dad laughed "Son, the government cut the forest rangers. There is no threat of being caught. Besides, your dad is too fast for any old Ranger".  Tootlio used to watch "Texas Ranger" on television, and upon reading the sign he became mightily fearful. "Dad, we should just buy one. Or put up a plastic one. You never know where a Ranger could be hiding!".

For sometimes it is not the Ranger to be scared of, but over jealous neighbors. Houfhton the overseer was walking up in the thick, dense evergreens. He could see Tootlios dad cut into the Christmas tree. He then took a picture, and sent it via his Cellphone to the rangers office. He laughed "This is the best Christmas present a neighbor could ever give!".  He then went up the road, to cut his free Christmas tree without fear of being caught.

Dad and Tootlio then hauled their sleigh to the end of the woods. The tree lay on top, all covered in dense snow. Then, a ski doo shrieked through the woods. A Ranger! Dad made a run for it, forgetting about Tootlio who was left behind with the sleigh. "Run, Tootlio, run!".  But little Tootlio just paused there, frozen in his tracks. The fear of the moment caught him somehow. The Ranger put on the cuffs on the 12 year old little boy. "A tree thief, huh? Looks like you will be going to jail for a long, long time". Tootlios dad came out of the woods "Mr. Ranger, get your cuffs off of my son". He then brazened a gun out at Tootlios Dad "Stop right there or I will fill you full of holes". Dad held up his hands, as the Ranger then uncuffed his 12 year old son. He then placed the cuffs on his Dad "Tree thief, huh? Look at this nice little photo I got off of this cell phone right here. Shows you cutting that tree, right near the 'do not cut' crown land sign" His dad glanced down at the cell phone in disgust, but he could see it was an e mail sent from Houghton. He yelled "Houghton, you turkey!".

Houghton could hear the sound, and he giggled as he took his stolen Christmas tree out a back road where it was safe to go.

The ranger placed his gun back into his holster. Little Tootlio put his cell phone on to record "You guys are some lucky I did not shoot yeahs, for stealing this beautiful Christmas tree, right here. I will not see it go to waste, though. I will put it in my living room and think of yeahs when I drink my whiskey and rye".

Then the court date came about. A thousand dollar fine, was the cost of the offence. Or 2 weeks prison, whichever the defendant preferred. Dad sought in the front of the court, as the Ranger rambled on about how good he was to catch the bad little tree thieves. Tootlio then played his tape over, in front of the judge. On hearing that the Ranger kept the tree in his house, he threw out the case. His Dad was free to go, due to the embarrassment on part of what the enforcement officials had created.

Houghton could see his neighbors coming back from their trial, just a day before Christmas. He was smoking his cigar, while shoveling his gate. He was surprised to see Tootlios father home, and free. Houghton yelled over as they exited their car "No Christmas tree this year? What happened? I got a nice one in my living room! Ha ha ha!".

Tootlio screamed back "It is a good thing we did not take the tree. The judge said they were sprayed with a highly toxic, winters bud worm spray, that could cause death if you even breathed in the tree scent for just a few days".  Just as Tootlios words exited his mouth, Houghton ran inside his house. He put on a dust mask, and gloves, and threw the tree... Ornaments and all, outside of his house. There, the trigger happy Ranger cut a piece off of the bottom, and it matched the tree stump that was cut way out in the woods. He did this, because of Tootlios Dad's bargaining on not pressing charges against him for waving his handgun in front of him for just cutting a tree.

Then, the Ranger jumped through the Houghton's picture window, and brandished his gun. I got a match here, Houghton, of your trees rings matching the one way out in the boonies! Just like squirrel crime scene investigation".  Houghton threw down his hot chocolate, and his family were shocked with awe.

Dad brought in Houghtons tree, and plugged it in. "This is way better than stealing, son! I truly learned a great Christmas message, this Christmas!"  Tootlio laughed "Yeah dad. Just make sure you got a backup plan, no matter what thing you try to do!"


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